Tag Archives: Values

Privacy Matters

I like to keep my private life and affairs to myself, it was how I was raised.

Some people will openly spill the beans to anyone, even if they don’t know them; which is from my point of view, a little unnecessary if you choose to ask me.

I really value my privacy, sometimes even if you’re family or someone I share my life with, somethings must remain top secret.

I don’t share other people’s privacy unless I’m given full approval to do so. I’m not into small talk, or gossip, so I prefer to talk about relevant information about life or my reflections on life or most likely what I can do to change or better my life. 

But more often than not, it’s women that gossip, sorry ladies; but it’s true. You just cannot keep your tounges from wagging. 

As a former dancer, I’ve spent enough time with women to know this. Most of my friends are women, but when I’m in their  company we talk about climate change and not what shoes you are planning on wearing, however I digress.

Privacy matters, why does it matter? Well because we’re all unique, and we represent our tribe/family, we also must have some aspects of ourselves that we should keep to ourselves, like what we do before we go to bed, or what  we believe in, or how we see ourselves, something I do each and every day. 

I don’t like people talking about me behind my back, they have no right to do so. I don’t do it to them and they should not also. Yet people are creatures of habit, which is where such behaviours emerge from. We do need to review our habits from time to time, or we just won’t change. 

I’ve come off Facebook and LinkedIn, why because I wanted to change my daily activities as I was getting addicted, in particular to FB; but more importantly, I’m open to my privacy being abused.

So, privacy matters to me, and I’m sure for some of you too. We can all be open, I’m always open, but my private life is just that, my private life.



The importance of #character


Most people who know me, will know that I view life philosophically.

I look forward to the highs, but am always prepared for the lows, because that’s how life goes!

Often what determines the highs and lows in life are people.

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy the company of people with real character.

Not your ‘same old same old’ person who follows fashion, behaves like a sheep, is easily swayed by external opinion, and has no principle, stance or acquired values on, well, anything.

I would have loved to sit and dine with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, for example, or more topically a Donald Trump… yeah I know, don’t say anything please.

On the female side, the remarkable Tina Turner comes to mind, or, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth ll. You get my drift?

Now these are well known public figures, but there are many of us who share these people’s doggedness, self-belief, ‘big picture’ thinking and a commitment to a cause; their cause.

These and other life path making qualities, I call character.

People with character are often very influential, charismatic, inspirational and driven. They’re often creative, and yet in many cases modest too.

People with character don’t need to be surrounded by people all the time in order to achieve self-worth or feel valued. They’re not concerned about the views of others. People of character know who they are, and moreover know instinctively what is required to get where they want to get to in life. Dare I say, most of those tools are inbuilt.

They are also not put off by setbacks, they understand that each setback is an excellent opportunity for a comeback.

A person with character; if you are fortunate to befriend one, will not let you down. Fickleness… What’s that?

It does seem in the 21st century, that building character is no longer deemed crucial, I beg to differ. For me, good character can make the difference to a life of mediocrity or a series of outstanding achievements.

Child = Future


When a child looks to an adult, they do so for protection, for food, for love and often without them being aware, for how they should conduct themselves.

If you are a responsible parent, or guardian, you will know that how you live will be aped by that youngster; though there will be the exception.

Children are impressionable. If you demonstrate love, they will come to know love and how to share and receive love. If you present hostility, not only is it disturbing to a child, but neuroscience research confirms lasting and irreparable emotional damage.

We see that if a child has a parent who speaks another language, a child will have little difficulty in understanding and speaking it. Just as if you choose to use profanity and do so as if it is acceptable, that child will see no issue with using similar means of communication.

When my children were toddlers, I never used goo goo and ga ga to communicate, I used well-formed vocabulary and grammar. It made a real difference to their formative development.

Non verbal communication is just as important as the verbal. Hugging, kissing, smiling and laughing are all essential to a child’s rich inner development.

If you’re in a parental partnership and raising a child, public demonstration of unity and love I suggest is critical. Anything other? Who’s to say what future effect may transpire – conscious and subliminal.

I love children… I was one… ONCE! They are our future, a future that offers more questions than answers. If we don’t equip our children with the right values, a sense of self, behavioural boundaries and heaps of love, we are letting them and their future down badly.

A Q for the ladies and mothers…

It would be fair to argue that young boys who have a consistent positive male role model in their lives, will grow up to be positive and influential men as adults; not all the time, but we can agree with this in general right? Good.

So when a poor male role model who has pretty much failed all expectations throughout that young man’s life, is invited to his biological sons’ 16th birthday party, while the ever constant positive paternal role model is not even given the smallest glimmer of an opportunity to decline an invitation; as a mother or a woman, or for that matter a fine upstanding fellow man, is this even logical, moral, let alone right?

Fathers who are not there for their sons, rightly get sneered at and jeered; and will likely find themselves as an outcast, unless of course the need to have at least the biological tie stay in place is seen as emotionally valuable to the mother and in her mind for her repeatedly let down son also (might need some help with that bit too).

But returning again to that ever-present good man. Is the mother right not to even consider the paternal father at such an event knowing the important positive role he has played in her son’s thinking and values across his most formative years?

Help me please, where does that kind of thinking come from?

I am thinking that most women and more importantly mothers would definitely feel the need to suggest to her son to ask his paternal father to be present at his birthday, even if the circumstances may force his positive role model to decline the invitation. I am asking the women, because sometimes a woman’s rationale does not make any sense to many a man.

So if the-real-fathermy women, mother readers would like to comment here or on my Facebook page, do so, because I am 100% stumped on this one!

Sending my love, light and universal blessings as usual…