Tag Archives: Trust

Deception… is a wonderful word, but not a wonderful experience

We have this life, that I like to call a journey… we meet all sorts of people on the way, some are genuine, some are genuine and then they become unreliable, others are outright deceptive.

Most of us would prefer the former, and others can tolerate the unreliable, but most I would suggest, would not accept someone who is deceptive.

I fall into the latter category… as I suspect most of you would too!

deception images and quotes Google Search

Once someone becomes deceptive, they are no longer on my journey.

It can take many years or sometimes instantly to discover someone who is deceptive, many relationships will reveal this, sure you can forgive, but what if there’s a pattern, once discerned, use the all-encompassing POWER of CHOICE and make the choice to not associate yourself with these people.

Live n Love always! 





The Power of Reliance

Have you ever agreed to do undertake an action with someone, and that someone has either proposed that action, or agrees to your proposal, and lo and behold that someone fails to show up? Yep, me too. Irksome right?

I spoke about Trust and Truth being positive (but fading) values, but Reliance too is vital for social cohesion, relationships of whatever kind; in business, within a family, in the halls of learning, team-work and so on.

Of course, reliance should be a natural and meaningful human behaviour, in particular when another depends on what one commits to doing, and as a result an expectation has been delivered; but words, as we know are just that, WORDS.

DEED is quite another thing, and this is often where the link in the communication/action chain breaks needlessly down.

We all know some people are serial ‘talk the talk’ but never ‘walk the walk’ merchants, we also know that some people will have a genuine excuse, but that genuine excuse should be conveyed before breaking that agreed commitment right? Good, I’m glad you agree with me.

What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander.

Not surprising, empathy is usually a missing quality; the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes just does not become apparent at any time, even when flagged, and when flagged, the defence emotion gets triggered – no one likes to have their behaviour questioned negatively.

Relationships and society depends pretty much on Reliance, and together with Truth and Trust, I have termed these values the Social Trinity; a rock solid platform for any meaningful communication, planning, team effort or goal/task achievement.

So if you are the proposer, think about this Reliance factor.

Remember a proposition by default becomes an expectation for the recipient, so switch roles mentally and try, yes try and think how you may feel.

If all else fails, remember…




The fading positive values of #truth and trust.

It’s been a challenging world in recent years, trust of powers, authorities and each other are arguably the lowest I’ve witnessed in my lifetime thus far.

Truth is becoming an increasingly rare quality, even among our own friends and family.

Truth is a social requirement, it forms the foundations of trust; another fading human quality. Without it, the fabric of our human society is in danger of imploding. Wars, famine, refugees and other needless man-made crises are driving wedges between once peaceful and united communities.

I don’t know about you dear reader, but I am fond of people who mean what they say, and say what they mean.

You just know where you stand with such people; however there’s a growing sense that such people are few and far between.

As a result, more of us choose to remain in our ‘personal bubble’ and absorb sceptical info from the media, or choose to live in a digital world, where you can delete or add people with relatively minimal consequences, or our young stepping out of their homes with knives and other tools of destruction, just as many of us would grab our phones before leaving our respective abodes.

But how do we entrench and nurture truth and trust? 

Well one way, is to do what toddlers do… Be open, less judgemental, choose to live in the moment, live la Vida Loca, smile more, cry more, giggle more, dance more, instinctively learn different languages, be curious, read more, play more.

As an adult, we can stop over thinking, travel more and be more inquisitive about each other, talk to strangers more, embrace transformational change, be courteous and conform to positive social behaviours.

All the above requires personal application however, yes only positive human interaction can develop a much-needed rich culture of trust and truth between us all.

One more thing, we also need leaders of people, positive role models, people who can positively inspire our young; they are our future after all right? 

I’m doing my bit for the cause, I invite you to do the same.

The opposite of this is well…  TRUMP WORLD, FAKE NEWS, TERRORISM, ALTERNATIVE FACTS, HUMAN TRAFFICKING the very real risk of GLOBAL DESTRUCTION as a result of man-made choices and actions.

OK, let’s end on a positive note, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!


Expectations going unfulfilled…

It’s becoming the norm to have proposals or invitations delivered, which for one reason or another, fail to materialise. We’ve all been there. Fake News and all that!

Whether the messenger was a) insincere, or b) circumstances prevailed to make the messenger think twice as to whether it was a mistake to make it in the first place, or c) it was said, meant and subsequently forgotten ‘duh’!.

Now setting an expectation is a powerful communication. The person in receipt of it, will be inclined to naturally believe it, and so prepare accordingly for it. In other words, their previously arranged life journey or mental plan at that very moment has been altered.

Working backwards, I will discount point c) because being forgetful can happen to all of us.

What about point b)? If the proposer feels that there’s something not quite right following the proposal delivery or invitation sent, it makes good sense to contact the person in receipt directly either to seek further reassurance or inform the recipient that a change of mind has been made.

In other words being both professional, and courteous. Should the proposer be reassured, clarity can be given and the expectation in the mind of the recipient reinforced. If the proposer remains unconvinced, then it makes sense just to say something along the lines of ‘I have had second thoughts, I am sorry to inform you that I can’t proceed with the proposal or invitation – Done and dusted, and the recipient will respect the honesty and perceived trust subsequently embedded, even when disappointed.

What about point a)? Setting an expectation here can be seen as manipulative and to be totally candid, will not be appreciated by the recipient – Dale Carnegie comes to mind here.

Both in a professional environment and a domestic one, making insincere proposals or invitations can cause real consternation if not outright civil strife. We’ve seen it topically in elections, marriages/personal relationships, online dating sites, business deals, and all of us have experienced it at some point from the service industry.

There are many courses and programs on Expectation Management models, all are loosely based on Mean What You Say and Say What You Mean, or Walk The Talk ideology.

Key rules are… Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. If you mean it, do it. If you start it, complete it.

These can be grouped under the umbrella word of COMMITMENT. A commitment to yourself, which is vitally important as it nurtures self-discipline, and to others as it invokes trust and admiration.

It’s also worth pointing out that insincere proposals and invitations can make people cynical about anything that comes their way. Where’s the small print mind-set? Or What’s the catch?

Yet we must all try to have faith in each other if society is to make positive progress, not easy in these chaotic and divisive times I grant you, but we’ve got to show respect to one another and ourselves first and foremost.


Binary Values


I remain puzzled as why some people get a perverted sense of satisfaction when they choose to take advantage of someone whose trust (not naivete) leaves them unaware and unguarded.

To do something like that to anyone; particularly if trust was the bedrock of the relationship… well it is way below the belt and should be a criminal offence – and I’m not joking!

Taking ones trust and then throw a precious birthright like that slap bang back in the face? That’s nasty, I could use more demeaning words, but…

Where does this contorted sense of satisfaction come from? Where is it born? It borders on being a psychopath doesn’t it? Zero empathy!

Trust and Integrity are binary values for me, and along with Love and Loyalty, make up the four pillars of all good, deep and lasting relationships (human or animal).

Taking advantage of anyone whatever the circumstances, is just plain wrong on every level.

Do you know someone like this? If so, make sure those you know who instinctively embrace our birthright, know who these horrible people are too!

Let’s try to protect our good people!!