Tag Archives: society

Rules for Life #38 Respect.

The ‘do unto others’ statement should be a moral code for all of us, but in my experience it is too often ignored and instead the Me Me Me and more Me mentality prevails in the social winds!

The respect is earned and not given… I like to give respect, whether or not it is returned does not matter to me, it is my moral code.

However I am the three strikes and out kind of guy, I am tolerant to the point where I can put up with insincerity for a while, but not for eternity. There is that topical ‘RED LINE’ that I mentally and emotionally have programmed within, and when triggered, sorry, no disrespect, but please take a hike!

Feeling respected is an empowering feeling, it makes you feel worthy doesn’t it?

The I AM SOMEBODY moment.

For those of us who lack self-esteem, or don’t feel worthy, a few kind words, and or just being gracious, can lift them out of the dark mood mire.

Respect therefore is incredibly powerful. 

Women, minorities, the disabled, the disenfranchised and those who are poorly educated or introverted, may have a deep need to be respected. Some, in specific circumstances and or environments, could have their negative emotions easily roused, if a look, or a word that is being negatively perceived, can ignite this emotion, and in turn can lead to anxiety, trigger shame, and shift their mood to one of anger or even violence.

Learn to be aware of this.

Look, there’s always something we can learn from our fellow human being, regardless of how we look, or where we have come from. So keep an open mind.


Do not make the mistake that being respected means being valued, VALUE is a far deeper expression of affection socially than being respected. Respect is often viewed as an external social behaviour and or need, but being valued is an internal emotion; irreplaceable in fact.

The expression of I VALUE YOU, resonates much deeper in my view than the often insincere words of I LOVE YOU, in whatever language.

So respect is important as stated, it can make some of us feel like we are appreciated, it also plays to our ego for some of us – we all possess some elements of ego, it is what drives us to do this and that… like combing our hair, looking in the mirror, or buying that new car with the new high-tech gadget that no one else has, or some of us just trying to get that tan on vacation to make others appreciate us more – not that I need to do so of course.

Ultimately, respect is just good old-fashioned good manners, it is one of the many social qualities that binds people together, improves communication, and both champions equality and removes inequality across humanity.

We witness it among the animal kingdom don’t we, so let’s apply respect whenever and however we can.






The fading positive values of #truth and trust.

It’s been a challenging world in recent years, trust of powers, authorities and each other are arguably the lowest I’ve witnessed in my lifetime thus far.

Truth is becoming an increasingly rare quality, even among our own friends and family.

Truth is a social requirement, it forms the foundations of trust; another fading human quality. Without it, the fabric of our human society is in danger of imploding. Wars, famine, refugees and other needless man-made crises are driving wedges between once peaceful and united communities.

I don’t know about you dear reader, but I am fond of people who mean what they say, and say what they mean.

You just know where you stand with such people; however there’s a growing sense that such people are few and far between.

As a result, more of us choose to remain in our ‘personal bubble’ and absorb sceptical info from the media, or choose to live in a digital world, where you can delete or add people with relatively minimal consequences, or our young stepping out of their homes with knives and other tools of destruction, just as many of us would grab our phones before leaving our respective abodes.

But how do we entrench and nurture truth and trust? 

Well one way, is to do what toddlers do… Be open, less judgemental, choose to live in the moment, live la Vida Loca, smile more, cry more, giggle more, dance more, instinctively learn different languages, be curious, read more, play more.

As an adult, we can stop over thinking, travel more and be more inquisitive about each other, talk to strangers more, embrace transformational change, be courteous and conform to positive social behaviours.

All the above requires personal application however, yes only positive human interaction can develop a much-needed rich culture of trust and truth between us all.

One more thing, we also need leaders of people, positive role models, people who can positively inspire our young; they are our future after all right? 

I’m doing my bit for the cause, I invite you to do the same.

The opposite of this is well…  TRUMP WORLD, FAKE NEWS, TERRORISM, ALTERNATIVE FACTS, HUMAN TRAFFICKING the very real risk of GLOBAL DESTRUCTION as a result of man-made choices and actions.

OK, let’s end on a positive note, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!


Dare to challenge yourself…


Some of the challenges and conflicts we personally and socially face is due to the fact that many of us fail to challenge ourselves – feeling comfort in the COMFORT ZONE.

I’ve often referred to in this site to our birth right… we would not be able to crawl until we are left on the floor to learn coordination, we could not walk until we have fallen down umpteen times – and this same model of daring to learn to discover to experience and moreover to fail is somehow lost by many of us as we move into adulthood.

The question for me is Why?

It is not a coincidence to me that in recent elections and referendums, it is those that chose to vote conservatively in general, are those that don’t like change. Yet all of us without exception growing up during our childhood, change was and even now still remains absolutely necessary.

An intolerance to change is not linked to any decision or choice posed, it is within the emotional psyche and sometimes the ignorance of the individual.

I have often found that those who travel not to a seaside resort (and there’s nothing wrong with those who do), but to destinations of real historic and cultural interest, places that could be labelled a once in a lifetime opportunity. Africa, India, China, places where the inhabitants have not changed their way of life for a millennia. It seems to be to me at least, that many of those who do are less judgmental, more compassionate, more inclined to understand founded upon knowledge, more inclined to integrate and have a more worldly, balanced and fluid perspective on the challenges that they may and will face in their lives.

We can all do so much better can’t we? Individually and collectively.

We can all learn so much more about ourselves and others if we break free of our comfort zone, and in so doing, breakdown all the perceived and imagined barriers that quite often in reality don’t exist!

It will be clearly uncomfortable for some, some may need to remove their preconceived and unfounded thoughts about this and that, and in some cases some will need to be courageous!

I can state here and now, when one does, it is an exciting, eye-opening and empowering experience.

I think it is what our entire world needs right now.



Observing unity or lack of…

What is driving disunity among so many nations? What makes someone stab and shoot an unarmed woman in broad daylight, while shouting allegedly ‘Britain First’…

What the hell is happening in the USA? Why do not people clearly see what Trump was doing, was pandering to many American’s blind frustrations and deep-rooted and covert prejudice?  Resulting in him now going to be the USA President. Why what makes us different (unique), is now being what allows some of us to nurture and fuel hate, xenophobia and in some instances leading to violence and crime?

I am sure you will agree with me, that in these chaotic times it is difficult to be optimistic about much at all.

If one thinks negative, our perspective on life is negative and will result in negative experiences that in turn fuels negative thinking – EzyEmp.

I have a list on Twitter, check this link https://twitter.com/sourceofsuccess/lists/humanity-united

Among the members there are some notable people, institutions and right-minded thinking individuals in my humble opinion. If like me, you believe in unity, you may wish to become a member, no subscription required.

I created the list when I joined Twitter back in 2009. Even then I felt that society was moving towards increasing division – often founded on emotion rather than logic.

I look at relationships, and the pressures on many of us have to deal with that leads to finding a quick exit (with material attachments in some cases). Many of us fail to put up with much, our intolerance levels are below what our parents and grandparents possessed that allowed them to realise the ‘death do they part’ verbal commitment.

Communicating digitally is the accepted norm, increasingly we text or message… deep level discussions and debates are now online, followed with unheralded accompanying abuse. As social creatures this saddens me. I only have to look at a natural world documentary and whether it’s watching dolphins, great apes, ants or the at risk elephant, and simply marvel at how they seem to be more intelligent, more communicative, more understanding and more loving than we purport to be.

Everything seems superficial, both perceptively and in reality. 

We the silent majority are now challenged to step up and make a difference – not in the way that some Brexiteers or Trump supporters are doing, but create a human world where we can all live in peace, prosper and excepting our unique differences. We can all learn from each other, we all know something that someone else doesn’t. Our life journeys are intrinsically ours; our very own life taxi if you will, yet we will have to converge every now and then, and that’s what society is about isn’t it?

I do wish we would all smile more, I really do. We go through life with increasing suspicion, increasingly feeling we’re at threat from each other in some way shape or form.

I am a man of colour. I have chosen to leave my home base in the UK and live in Malta.

Now in Malta people still invariably reflect what you present to them – it is a nation that has grown used to foreign invaders, and with the current refugee crisis, Malta has become an ever-increasing cosmopolitan island.

I am a pretty chilled out guy, and though I am tall and athletic, I offer little threat to those I communicate with. Sure before I do, they will have an expectation, it follows that we men of colour through history are deemed a threat, but as soon as many of us engage, such perceptions are immediately blown asunder, not everyone is disarmed so readily, but the vast majority do.

The other aspect to all this is that none of us are born with any perceptions about what a particular ethnic or racial group is or not, it is taught. We enter this world without any knowledge whatsover of class, race, wealth etc. Again that flies in the face of basic intelligence.

So let me call on us all to throw out division, and disunity, it’s a dirty road to nowhere people. Let’s communicate more directly, let’s be more understanding, more compassionate, more forgiving, more positive and more empathetic. Not just for us adults, but for our children and grandchildren.


#diversity #unity #bono