Tag Archives: respect

Privacy Matters

I like to keep my private life and affairs to myself, it was how I was raised.

Some people will openly spill the beans to anyone, even if they don’t know them; which is from my point of view, a little unnecessary if you choose to ask me.

I really value my privacy, sometimes even if you’re family or someone I share my life with, somethings must remain top secret.

I don’t share other people’s privacy unless I’m given full approval to do so. I’m not into small talk, or gossip, so I prefer to talk about relevant information about life or my reflections on life or most likely what I can do to change or better my life. 

But more often than not, it’s women that gossip, sorry ladies; but it’s true. You just cannot keep your tounges from wagging. 

As a former dancer, I’ve spent enough time with women to know this. Most of my friends are women, but when I’m in their  company we talk about climate change and not what shoes you are planning on wearing, however I digress.

Privacy matters, why does it matter? Well because we’re all unique, and we represent our tribe/family, we also must have some aspects of ourselves that we should keep to ourselves, like what we do before we go to bed, or what  we believe in, or how we see ourselves, something I do each and every day. 

I don’t like people talking about me behind my back, they have no right to do so. I don’t do it to them and they should not also. Yet people are creatures of habit, which is where such behaviours emerge from. We do need to review our habits from time to time, or we just won’t change. 

I’ve come off Facebook and LinkedIn, why because I wanted to change my daily activities as I was getting addicted, in particular to FB; but more importantly, I’m open to my privacy being abused.

So, privacy matters to me, and I’m sure for some of you too. We can all be open, I’m always open, but my private life is just that, my private life.



Rules for Life #38 Respect.

The ‘do unto others’ statement should be a moral code for all of us, but in my experience it is too often ignored and instead the Me Me Me and more Me mentality prevails in the social winds!

The respect is earned and not given… I like to give respect, whether or not it is returned does not matter to me, it is my moral code.

However I am the three strikes and out kind of guy, I am tolerant to the point where I can put up with insincerity for a while, but not for eternity. There is that topical ‘RED LINE’ that I mentally and emotionally have programmed within, and when triggered, sorry, no disrespect, but please take a hike!

Feeling respected is an empowering feeling, it makes you feel worthy doesn’t it?

The I AM SOMEBODY moment.

For those of us who lack self-esteem, or don’t feel worthy, a few kind words, and or just being gracious, can lift them out of the dark mood mire.

Respect therefore is incredibly powerful. 

Women, minorities, the disabled, the disenfranchised and those who are poorly educated or introverted, may have a deep need to be respected. Some, in specific circumstances and or environments, could have their negative emotions easily roused, if a look, or a word that is being negatively perceived, can ignite this emotion, and in turn can lead to anxiety, trigger shame, and shift their mood to one of anger or even violence.

Learn to be aware of this.

Look, there’s always something we can learn from our fellow human being, regardless of how we look, or where we have come from. So keep an open mind.


Do not make the mistake that being respected means being valued, VALUE is a far deeper expression of affection socially than being respected. Respect is often viewed as an external social behaviour and or need, but being valued is an internal emotion; irreplaceable in fact.

The expression of I VALUE YOU, resonates much deeper in my view than the often insincere words of I LOVE YOU, in whatever language.

So respect is important as stated, it can make some of us feel like we are appreciated, it also plays to our ego for some of us – we all possess some elements of ego, it is what drives us to do this and that… like combing our hair, looking in the mirror, or buying that new car with the new high-tech gadget that no one else has, or some of us just trying to get that tan on vacation to make others appreciate us more – not that I need to do so of course.

Ultimately, respect is just good old-fashioned good manners, it is one of the many social qualities that binds people together, improves communication, and both champions equality and removes inequality across humanity.

We witness it among the animal kingdom don’t we, so let’s apply respect whenever and however we can.





Easter… sacrifice, sins, re-birth



TheCrossI was a raised a solid Christian, went to church with my mother and sometimes my dad when he was not on the late shift the night before, was an acolyte, went to a Catholic school, taught by a nun – Sister Burke, and was repeatedly reminded that I was born on Good Friday.

So dear reader, the Holy Week was a significant ceremonial period in my annual calendar growing up.

As I became an adult, I recognised the inconsistencies and hypocrisy of many followers of not only the Christian faith but other faiths too.

I still identify with the moral teachings of the bible, but we being flawed beings, not all of us will even now as Christians go to church and mark the stages of Christ’s crucifixion.  No, many will be booking their first flight to the sun for that chilled pina colada. I am not being self righteous,  just an observation.

I embrace Jesus Christ; I do so because his brand is that of a good man, and being a good man is what I strive to be. I also recognise and identify with other good men and women who have lived and are alive today, whether they’re  steeped in religion or not.

Today, men and women will choose to sacrifice themselves in crowded markets, in buildings of worship, on board planes, on the field of religious ideological battles, and taking innocent men, women, boys and girls with them… madness right? What Jesus would make of this kind of sacrifice is anyone’s guess.

My religion is simply this…  knowing right from wrong, respecting other beliefs and opinions, treating people as I find them, not accepting injustice, looking for the positives in everything, embracing change, promoting self-reflection, treating myself with love, looking to the future, leaving a positive legacy, loving my daughters and 2 year old grandson, MUSIC, art, friendship, travel, culture, loyalty, integrity and truth.

Over the past couple of years, I have experienced and witnessed behaviours that I would not wish on my worse enemy. Whether it’s burning another human alive in a cage or more closer to home, someone choosing to dump my Christmas presents and cards into a bin!

We each of us will be faced with our own judgement on how we have lived, what have we done for others as opposed for ourselves; there is no escaping this inevitability.

The flip side to this, is that over the same period, I have met, exchanged communication and developed friendships with people who I have synched with seamlessly. Life is a truly beautiful contrast. The consistent need for essential balance underpins all things, all matter, all reality.

It with this knowledge that I am enriched with hope; the re-birth.

Happy Easter!

A boy’s love!

CareAboutBoysAt the tender age of 22 months, I found myself being a surrogate father and positive male role model for a now 16 years old-young man.

Such is this kid’s respect for me, he felt the need to tell me this evening that he was spending time in a 5 star hotel with his biological father over night… now he didn’t need to tell me, and if he had not, and I later found out, it would not have bothered me at all, but that he did, is a CLEAR MESSAGE of just how much he respects and loves me. I of course wished him quality time.

His value to me continues to increase as the years roll by.

A boy’s love!