Tag Archives: relationships

Rules for Life #40… the value of #family


Our family is a rich and unlimited source of security, knowledge and love.

The family should form the foundation of our growth from childhood into becoming an influential, positive and effective adult.

Society has placed in some cases, insurmountable pressure on the family unit. The mother, father and siblings social group of the 21st century creaks alarmingly in the so-called developed world. It is being continually bombarded with negative energy that has forced many to turn their backs on their own family, and seek refuge in friends outside of their gene base who they regard as their ‘real’ family.

A tribe that administers security, knowledge and love is a tribe that can withstand all kinds of destabilising forces.

What was that statement in the Soul Food movie.., all those fingers rolled into one, can be a fist that can strike a mighty blow (sic).

A truly powerful statement.

Family is invaluable for all sorts of reasons, mainly because that’s where we learn what is what during our formative years, and these early impressions will be taken way into our adult life.

We must understand that through our family group, we have been given the responsibility and power baton to realise our true and inherent potential. It is from your duty to the family, that you should make every conceivable effort to become a more spiritually and cognitively aware being.

Having entered this plane of existence knowing and relying only on your inner-most senses, it is critical therefore that you cultivate the latent positive power through your family group, to fully enjoy the confidence to live a life that has been served to you by nature, in order to utilise these rarely used abilities.

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Be aware that you have an invisible, yet tangible effect on your blood social unit; every negative decision taken on a family platform, will harm your power base.

Welcome and embrace the changes and evolution that exists within your genealogical group, and entice the influential members to recognise and champion the importance of the family unit.

Living your life knowing that your family base is rock solid, will empower your life inextricably.

Please harness its power!

EzyEmp.

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The need for validation


I have been observing people behaviour over many years. The one thing that has often struck me, is there’s a need for validation in all of us. Some more than others of course.

Those who need it most, are often egotistical.

Trump is a fine example of this type of person. He constantly seeks validation, from the news channels, from statistics, he even attempts to re-write history such is his need for validation. When he cannot get this desperate need for validation, he becomes petulant like a ‘terrible two year old toddler’; sniping, berating, casting aspersion at anyone or anything that won’t conform to his deep need for validation; no one that ever lived has or can or will be better than him.

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But that enough about the POTUS, it’s too political.

Back to my point

A lack of validation by either party in a relationship is often one of the reasons relationships don’t last, as one partner may need it in spades; in part because of a lack of self-confidence, poor self-image and esteem, poor temperament, even a little need for control, or just due to past experiences. Principally however, the need to feel loved, wanted and that other extreme value, needed is what creates pointless and if extreme, devastating cracks in a relationship, where one party will do something completely irrational to their and their partner’s cost!

Some advice

Of course, communication is the biggest lever one can have along with listening (not talking over when the other party is getting stuff off their mind) and understanding, and then that all-encompassing sweet value of accepting.

In conclusion.

There’s a cast iron need in all of us to be validated, as I have said some more than others, but we all need to feel loved, it’s our birth-right; so accepting this as a key part of the human character make up will go someway to understanding why the need for some of us to control our environment, our friends, our loved ones (who will often be the butt of the extreme source of validation kick back) is in today’s fast-moving global technological world so prevalent.

Should we watch reality TV where relationships is the theme, it is shown in all its depressing often eye rolling glory, which only reinforces the need to be validated behaviour, because as humans we learn from what see and hear, and some of us are inclined to sub-consciously ape such behaviour. People screaming at each other on TV, making threats etc, isn’t good education in my book, but hey it entertains and brings the broadcasters and production company lots of profit, so let just keep producing more of this stuff and see how the wider society reacts.

Notice I didn’t use respond, because reaction is when we act negatively to something, and responding is when we act positively to something, so the former applies here.

Here’s a quote about validation, worth jotting down.

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Every blessing dear reader for your week.

 

Rules for Life #34


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We are all tempted to control and mould people (particularly those we love) into a way that suits our needs and desires, but not necessarily theirs.

Good relationships are interdependent, that is, each will have their own goals, interests, likes, friends, along with personal and professional requirements. In a partnership these developed behaviours must be respected, and be afforded to evolve into a pairing that will eventually combine both parties qualities, as one will over time learn to adapt to the other naturally.

The true strength in any relationship is recognising that a problem shared is often a problem halved, this with the prerequisite respect, communication, tolerance, give and take, understanding, empathy, love etc., will create a hoped for lasting bond built on mutual respect for each other’s characteristics, habits, needs and attitudes.

EzyEmp

 

To be with or not to be with…


When someone causes you emotional hurt, it isn’t always easy to turn the page,  particularly when you naturally have a good heart.

Letting go and making profound mental changes does not happen instantaneously; some of us will need trustworthy support, while others may seek the mental exit through comfort food eating, promiscuity and other tangible highs like booze and drugs.

For many of us, it’s seems wiser to remain solo than to become emotionally involved with someone – with all the accessories which usually accompanies such unions.

Yet we are social creatures and interaction on a meaningful level is essential for our overall health.

Get it right, and it’s a wonderful thing, get it wrong which most of us will, and well, I don’t need to say, you already know.

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Time to move on?


Well from 1 to 12, if any are a repetitive experience, then it may be a good idea to find a better life.

There’s no question that for many of us, relationships require a concerted effort to keep that fire burning; but in truth if this for you is a regular requirement, then you’re probably not compatible.

Tolerance will likely be in short supply, particularly if you’ve entered a new relationship from one where 1-12 was prevalent.

The pre-eminent challenge is to not let your past pains negatively impact your future gains – we all know this is easier said than done don’t we?

Relationships is not only about caring and sharing, it’s also about planning and managing.

To be fair, it can also be mentally and physically exhausting with the wrong chemistry.

Above all else, it should be about honest and open communication, underpinned with mutual respect, whilst allowing each other to grow independently, within a loving, joyful, trusting union.

When you find, or if you already have that special someone ______________________ fill in the blank and express what it means to you, and every now and then, just glance at it, it could prove to be the difference between enjoying a deep loving relationship or another episode of that popular soap opera, called ‘here we go again’.

12 signs – credit to Celine Chua

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#sourceofsuccess