Tag Archives: prejudice

Would you buy music without hearing it first?

So much trouble caused in our world is as a direct result of prejudgment, making assumptions, and stereotyping!

As a man of colour, I venture into environments where, often I am the odd one out! Why do I do that? Well because I see myself as equal to anyone else in this world.

I was born not knowing what I will experience due to my outward appearance before my cognitive senses kicked in, but should I need to endure such energy?

The answer is obvious.

In truth, because of my personality, and outward demeanor I don’t often experience negativity, I try to immerse myself in the community, wherever I am or wherever I go, and always with a positive outward engagement.

Of course, there will be those that live in a shrouded dark cocoon, read only stuff that superimposes their suspicions, fears and learned bias. It is not unusual for me to experience women holding on to their purse or bag when they pass close to me, but that is them and I am me, but it does irk me from time to time.

I hold on to my wallet and smart phone too, for the same reasons.

It is called security. 

Though I don’t fear the person, I fear losing my phone or valuables, it’s quite different. How do I know this? Well from 40 meters away, I sense their fear – it is an acquired sense for those of us who have that extra dose of melanin. It is rare, but some will cross over the road, while others will walk near the kerb, and others will even from afar, shift their bag to the opposite side from my path, that’s how I know that they’ve immediately judged me, not because they know me, but because people who look like me, are deemed to be dangerous. In the words of Trump… SAD!

So where am I going with this?

As the title of this blog asks, would you buy music without hearing it first? Be honest now! I suspect not. Oops I am making assumptions, my bad 🙂

Joking aside, why do so many of us judge one another??

We assume this and that, pigeon-hole people regarding race, gender, religion, wealth, demographics, how we dress, our accents, and so it goes on… without actually knowing who our fellow human being is.

Of course, in situations where there may be some kind of threat, your serene instincts will kick in, is there to protect you and will always be right.

However, when you step out your front door, and the guy or family opposite looks or behaves different from you, you make an instant assessment without even saying hello to gain some kind of response, to kick open the stubborn communication door to engage with that guy or family.

Yeah I know some of us are shy or reserved and would rather they make the first move, but suspicion and or fear in your mind generates an energy that is, shall we say discernible, and if that discernible energy translates in the mind of your neighbour as suspicion and or fear, they too won’t make the first move, so what do we have?

Yes, a stalematethis happens up and down the land.

Often times, when you engage with someone you feel suspicious about, you will often be very pleasantly surprised. We can all learn from each other, we all know something that another person doesn’t.


Travel for me, is the best way of breaking down preconceived barriers.

Now, we like to think we’re the most intelligent species on the planet, but when you consider the above, I am not so sure.

So let’s focus on the positives…

The statementwe have more in common than what divides us‘, is a fact.

Should we take that view on a daily basis, instead of buying music we’ve never heard, the world would be a much better, more peaceful, empathetic, understanding and mutually loving place to exist.

Think about it, and practice the statement above in the coming days, and see what positive experiences you have encountered and learned, and if you wish, report back with comments.



Judging Virtually

Has technological advancement forced so many of us to cast judgement from afar?

You know, with all these social networks – we are seemingly ever more cautious about this person and that person, in some cases rightly so, while in others the judgement is often a reflection of our own insecurities and prejudices.

Yet some of us spend many long hours trawling profiles and hopeful images of him, her, or them.

There is a lot of precious life time wasted here; very often needlessly in forming irrational, fact-free opinions that ensures that your status-quo remains today as it was yesterday, though you dearly wish it would change.

The truth is of course, nothing changes unless you do!

These popular social networking sites will often have a theme. Some are business focused, with other sub-categories so that you can connect and interact with like-minded folk that will probably share your interests. In many cases one has to be checked-in prior to becoming an approved participant.

Others are much more liberal, allowing the user to connect to whomever will accept an invitation… in such cases, similar interests like music genre, race, political ideals, gender, nationality, faith, sport etc, may play an important role in determining who you would choose to connect, or ‘friend’ or ‘follow’ with, or instead simply bypass on your merry virtual journey.

For those shrewd enough to understand the pros and cons of these seemingly ever mushrooming sites, manipulation and even more undesirable sinister pursuits can be leveraged. So there are certainly some merits in being picky and diligent.

There is also a positive argument that these mediums can allow some of us to interact virtually with people who ordinarily just would not happen in the big bad ‘real’ world.

From incredibly famous people who you have always admired, to that special person you’ve always had a distinct amorous interest in, but could not or would not dare to make an approach to, even over the telephone – but a short and crisp virtual nudge with a sentence or two, is a much less stressful procedure.

You can be incognito by choosing an avatar or photographic image of your choice, the ironic upside is, very often this will achieve your end goal – CONTACT!

You know, for some of our more younger members of society, this IS the first step in meeting someone, the chat up line with all the ‘physical’ risks that may accompany, is surely a dying skill set – you can’t get SLAPPED by your laptop right?

For all the good that technology brings us, it also takes so much goodness away.

As a user myself, I often sense fear, anxiety, and ever more analysis paralysis through the radiation of my GUI every day – and it really is not a good experience.

We are HUMAN BEINGS, we are all fallible, and we are by our very nature born to interact, even if it means we face rejection, hurt and other risks – this is how we learn, and whatever we learn, forms the very tiniest ingredient of universal wisdom.

Is this potentially marvellous reward for being true to ourselves first and others second, something so many of us have daily chosen to underestimate, ignore; often with zero reflection?

The greatest of men and women have often been the target of the harshest of rejections, and ill-treatment. But these brave and persistent people, will have gained so much from their experience, much more than if they chose a less challenging path.

So the next time your imagination of anxiety runs wild, the next time that a potentially life enriching opportunity slips from you never to return, because you’ve spent weeks if not months painting ‘oh dear’ or ‘what if’ illusions about this person or that person online, without ever knowing the first thing about them, should be the time you choose to slay your virtual judgements.

You do not define anyone with your judgment. You only define yourself as someone who needs to judge. Wayne Dyer