Tag Archives: Life

Recollection 


Here are some life events that I will never forget..

  • As a five year old playing Herod the King with a plastic floppy sword
  • How my mother’s tears will instantly make me weep when I was young
  • My father bringing home bottles of Makeson Stout and chocolate eggs every Friday after work
  • Being able to tread water in the deep end at a swimming pool
  • My first kiss on my crush’ lips in the school playground, no tounges
  • The first time aged 9 a school friend showed her vagina to me in a classroom
  • When I lost my virginity aged 15 with my sister’s friend at a family party – she seduced me!
  • The sensation of driving a car for the very first time
  • Having a street fight with one arm; someone tried to rob me, but all they got was an empty wallet and a busted nose for their troubles (if it happened today with sharp weapons being the tool of combat) I may not be here right now
  • Winning a national team dance competiton, we all fully lost it!!
  • Performing on stage in Milan with Renato Raschel (he of solo mio fame) aged 20
  • Discovering love in Italy with my dance partner Kerry Moore aged 20; we should be together today, but…
  • Leaving home, watching my parents sadness and buying a home aged 23
  • Having my first born aged 27, now Mrs Kyla Frye-Onilude
  • Joining a vocal quartet and traveling the world aged 31, who’s founder died in March last year RIP, and then traveling the world as a solo artist mid 30s
  • Travelling to Kenya with my 2nd daughter who’s nickname is Cocky, who I love dearly, an experience that I will happily take to my grave – 3 safaris in two weeks, the TV doesn’t capture the majesty of the animal kingdom whatsoever
  • Losing my grandson to cot death; no words can describe that tragic experience. RIP
  • Incorporating my first company late 30s, but with the wrong people
  • Earning a six figure salary as a member of the Board of Directors at a computer services enterprise
  • Flying to Manhattan a month before 9/11 and visited the Windows of the World restaurant at the top of the World Trade Centre. Timing and all that
  • Losing my old man in 2008 to leukaemia in just 4 days, my mentor!
  • My now 5 year old grandson, a talent  coming to your screens in the not too distant future; mark my words
  • Witnessing and being part of my daughter’s glorious wedding just last August, man she was incredibly beautiful on the day just as she was at her birth

One of my, if not the most cherished memory, was being able to translate a letter from Spanish into English for my mother, and watched the pride on her face as I did so.

Now, I have much to look forward to, living in the Mediterranean, watching my G’son grow up, and possibly others on the way too; and making the right choices and being with the right people in doing the right things, at the planned time.

Live n Love

My dog Louie, he was a character!

EzyEmp

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Rules for 2018 #1


So another year has passed and another is well on the way, I do hope this year for you will not mirror the one just passed!

Here are 15 lifestyle choices that I think are necessary for 2018…

  1. If someone shuts you out, let them; and don’t ever return for more of the same.
  2. If someone treats you kind, with love or with affection, treasure them.
  3. Make an effort to do something you have never done before; life is for LIVING!
  4. Don’t spend more than you earn, money for most is hard to come by.
  5. Be nice, even to those who are not nice to you.
  6. Read, Read, and Read a little more, and travel, travel and travel a little more.
  7. Expose yourself to different cultures, different people, anything different in fact.
  8. Learn a language, learn to bake, learn to swim, learn to code, just learn.
  9. Be humble, be truthful, be authentic, and stop being an echo chamber.
  10. Indulge yourself with music, music, music and your kind of live MUSIC!
  11. Drink lots of water, lots of it daily, avoid too much sugar and too much salt.
  12. Enjoy great sex and more sex and more sex, we all love mind-blowing sex!
  13. Be around people who make you feel good about life, who will allow you to be you.
  14. Try and sleep well, relax the muscles in your face right now, yes now!
  15. Try not to sit down too much, try to use the stairs rather than the elevator, try walking more, or cycle instead of taking the car to go 400 meters up the road.

In the 2nd rules for 2018 post (and there will only be two for 2018), my next 15 point plan, will focus on what I now do best,

CAREER ADVICE! 

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Happy 2018 to you and yours, do remember life is determined by that all-encompassing POWER OF CHOICE!

EzyEmp

Perception is more powerful than reality


Sometimes I often and do need to reflect on my personal journey, for reasons that some of you may share or in some tenuous way, understand.

As ever, on the top of my journey list are people; people who you think are friends or even family, but when you dig deeper, you begin to discover that they only have and use their own self-interest as leverage to move their lives forward, whilst using others as human vehicles.

Added to that journey list, are those that drop their external mask and what is revealed behind their crumbling mask is not the person you thought you knew, but a person who you don’t really know at all.

I recall a story, where a married Italian couple who were married for well over 60 years and was celebrating their wedding anniversary. The wife revealed to her husband who are both now well into their 80s, that she had a fling very early on in their marriage. This revelation so enraged her longtime, husband, lover, partner and friend, that he divorced her.

(As you know my mantra is never make emotional decisions)

She clearly felt that having lived together for so long over many decades, that such an honest confession would be weighed up against and understood by her husband, over what they have shared and nurtured over such a long time, well she was clearly wrong… and he believed that his wife was as faithful as the nose on his face!

The saddest thing is, that there was very little life left for them both. 

Perception is more powerful than reality right?

If I know anything in life is that anyone can infiltrate minds by creating a perception of credibility; scammers, cheaters, politicians, fake news…

It can be a very useful tool to have in our life journey tool bag, but use wisely.

However, when all is said and done, eventually the time will come when ‘the boy who cried wolf’, will not be taken seriously because, there’s was no WOLF!

As you know, people fascinate me, in every way possible – from toddlers who could not give a care in the world, who are stainless, openhearted and precious, to those who have seen all that the world has to offer, have forged judgmental opinions on this and that, and still have influence and much to say!

Yet ultimately, it is what lies deep in our hearts and not in our minds that will determine our destiny, the indelible influences during our formative years, what we choose to do and the consequences thereof, who we ride with through life, and that all important attitude to life effect.

EzyEmp

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The fading positive values of #truth and trust.


It’s been a challenging world in recent years, trust of powers, authorities and each other are arguably the lowest I’ve witnessed in my lifetime thus far.

Truth is becoming an increasingly rare quality, even among our own friends and family.

Truth is a social requirement, it forms the foundations of trust; another fading human quality. Without it, the fabric of our human society is in danger of imploding. Wars, famine, refugees and other needless man-made crises are driving wedges between once peaceful and united communities.

I don’t know about you dear reader, but I am fond of people who mean what they say, and say what they mean.

You just know where you stand with such people; however there’s a growing sense that such people are few and far between.

As a result, more of us choose to remain in our ‘personal bubble’ and absorb sceptical info from the media, or choose to live in a digital world, where you can delete or add people with relatively minimal consequences, or our young stepping out of their homes with knives and other tools of destruction, just as many of us would grab our phones before leaving our respective abodes.

But how do we entrench and nurture truth and trust? 

Well one way, is to do what toddlers do… Be open, less judgemental, choose to live in the moment, live la Vida Loca, smile more, cry more, giggle more, dance more, instinctively learn different languages, be curious, read more, play more.

As an adult, we can stop over thinking, travel more and be more inquisitive about each other, talk to strangers more, embrace transformational change, be courteous and conform to positive social behaviours.

All the above requires personal application however, yes only positive human interaction can develop a much-needed rich culture of trust and truth between us all.

One more thing, we also need leaders of people, positive role models, people who can positively inspire our young; they are our future after all right? 

I’m doing my bit for the cause, I invite you to do the same.

The opposite of this is well…  TRUMP WORLD, FAKE NEWS, TERRORISM, ALTERNATIVE FACTS, HUMAN TRAFFICKING the very real risk of GLOBAL DESTRUCTION as a result of man-made choices and actions.

OK, let’s end on a positive note, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!

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The disintegration of humankind


If you like me are becoming increasingly saddened at the unrelenting bad news and atrocities that we hear and see each and every day, I am not surprised at all, it’s madness!

We humans are evidently flawed; there can be no dissenting voices to this fact.

What I do struggle with as a person of compassion and empathy, are those willing to provide excuses or reasons for such degradable inhumane behaviour (trade, economics, provocation, skin colour, looked at me in the wrong way, religion, voices in one’s head) etc, or even to look the other way – ‘hypocrisy’.

Look, there are zero excuses, none whatsoever.

Compassion and understanding must not be selective.

From teenage youth stabbing their peers on the streets, men beating up on women and in some cases to death, sophisticated flying machines dropping bombs on hospitals, firing missiles on young boys on beaches, and releasing toxic chemicals on innocent people going about their lives, and so it goes on and on, with refugees growing by the tens of thousands each day as a consequence. Few days ago in Stockholm, 2 weeks ago in London and now today in Cairo & Alexandria, expect more this coming week!

I was watching on CNN an expert from the Peoples Republic talking about the prospect of #Trump potentially looking to take military action against the North Korean regime, which as a consequence would lead to them attacking South Korea, and as such a western ally, which in turn would invoke the Chinese to come to the aid of the North Koreans, thus the prospect of World War III may be manifested.

Much of this is predicted from Nostradamus to the Bible.

I am in midlife, but I do have a 4 year old grandson who I would really like to see become a responsible and successful human being; and on behalf of his generation, I believe we as ‘so called’ adult intelligent beings need to think very seriously about what we’re leaving behind for his generation.

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I will continue to remain optimistic!

Time for my memoirs?


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I have led an interesting life, something of an adventure. My parents were both pretty much illiterate, and therefore much of my learning was self-imposed or absorbed in the halls of learning. What I give my heartfelt thanks to my parents for, was their undiluted love, protection, dedication and realised wisdom.

Many people with whom I have encountered in just over a half century of my earth existence, have often told me to write a book of my life to-date.

There’s no doubt I have seen and done a lot, from being a school keeper, to sitting on a stool in a piano bar and being a jazz crooner on a Royal Caribbean Cruise Line ship – and much in between.

I am at a point in my life where my own immortality is never far from my mind. When you see so many of the generation just ahead and moreover your own generation passing away, and then when your own off-spring are looking to get married, one is made fully aware that the conveyor belt of life is continually moving, and it’s only a matter of time before your number is called.

Though I have written a book and have had it published, I did that in just two nights, this one I know will take a lot longer, but it could be an all-time best seller right?

Well I won’t know unless I take ‘action’So watch this space!