Tag Archives: Learning

Rules for 2018 #1

So another year has passed and another is well on the way, I do hope this year for you will not mirror the one just passed!

Here are 15 lifestyle choices that I think are necessary for 2018…

  1. If someone shuts you out, let them; and don’t ever return for more of the same.
  2. If someone treats you kind, with love or with affection, treasure them.
  3. Make an effort to do something you have never done before; life is for LIVING!
  4. Don’t spend more than you earn, money for most is hard to come by.
  5. Be nice, even to those who are not nice to you.
  6. Read, Read, and Read a little more, and travel, travel and travel a little more.
  7. Expose yourself to different cultures, different people, anything different in fact.
  8. Learn a language, learn to bake, learn to swim, learn to code, just learn.
  9. Be humble, be truthful, be authentic, and stop being an echo chamber.
  10. Indulge yourself with music, music, music and your kind of live MUSIC!
  11. Drink lots of water, lots of it daily, avoid too much sugar and too much salt.
  12. Enjoy great sex and more sex and more sex, we all love mind-blowing sex!
  13. Be around people who make you feel good about life, who will allow you to be you.
  14. Try and sleep well, relax the muscles in your face right now, yes now!
  15. Try not to sit down too much, try to use the stairs rather than the elevator, try walking more, or cycle instead of taking the car to go 400 meters up the road.

In the 2nd rules for 2018 post (and there will only be two for 2018), my next 15 point plan, will focus on what I now do best,



Happy 2018 to you and yours, do remember life is determined by that all-encompassing POWER OF CHOICE!



The fading positive values of #truth and trust.

It’s been a challenging world in recent years, trust of powers, authorities and each other are arguably the lowest I’ve witnessed in my lifetime thus far.

Truth is becoming an increasingly rare quality, even among our own friends and family.

Truth is a social requirement, it forms the foundations of trust; another fading human quality. Without it, the fabric of our human society is in danger of imploding. Wars, famine, refugees and other needless man-made crises are driving wedges between once peaceful and united communities.

I don’t know about you dear reader, but I am fond of people who mean what they say, and say what they mean.

You just know where you stand with such people; however there’s a growing sense that such people are few and far between.

As a result, more of us choose to remain in our ‘personal bubble’ and absorb sceptical info from the media, or choose to live in a digital world, where you can delete or add people with relatively minimal consequences, or our young stepping out of their homes with knives and other tools of destruction, just as many of us would grab our phones before leaving our respective abodes.

But how do we entrench and nurture truth and trust? 

Well one way, is to do what toddlers do… Be open, less judgemental, choose to live in the moment, live la Vida Loca, smile more, cry more, giggle more, dance more, instinctively learn different languages, be curious, read more, play more.

As an adult, we can stop over thinking, travel more and be more inquisitive about each other, talk to strangers more, embrace transformational change, be courteous and conform to positive social behaviours.

All the above requires personal application however, yes only positive human interaction can develop a much-needed rich culture of trust and truth between us all.

One more thing, we also need leaders of people, positive role models, people who can positively inspire our young; they are our future after all right? 

I’m doing my bit for the cause, I invite you to do the same.

The opposite of this is well…  TRUMP WORLD, FAKE NEWS, TERRORISM, ALTERNATIVE FACTS, HUMAN TRAFFICKING the very real risk of GLOBAL DESTRUCTION as a result of man-made choices and actions.

OK, let’s end on a positive note, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!


Experience learned and banked

My parents have since passed, my mother in 1995 and my father in 2008.  I am an island boy at heart with island values, raised on the simple things… love, family, Jesus, and knowing definitively what is right and what is wrong.

However I have been molded by and through the big city urban lifestyle; this joint life journey has proved to be invaluable in so many ways.  My parents were more or less illiterate, no book reading before bed time for me, but they put me through school; several in fact, in addition to Sunday school, you see in the early years, me, my closest sister in terms of age, and my parents would have to share a single room, across four properties.

Somewhere along the line, my parents managed to engage with local authorities and at last I had my room at the age of 9 in a three bed abode. I had one last family move at the age of 10, where this stay lasted for 13 years.

These moves helped my social skills, because I had to adapt to new people, and make new friends regularly during those incredibly important formative years.

As a black boy growing up in the UK, my friends in those early years were mainly white, I never had any real issues with race, in fact I loved my childhood, loved my friends, and again looking back, these social interactions has proved to be invaluable to me as an adult.

On one side of my family via my mother, I have a Portuguese heritage, and of course there must be some African heritage too, because my island was one of many ports of call for the slave ships.  It is a heritage dear reader that I am deeply proud of.

I was always surrounded by music. My mother and my father were always singing in our home. I also had an instinct and talent for performing… was often chosen to act, sing and dance during my school years, and was a capable sportsman.

These attributes led me to the world of Martial Arts, I was always tempted to becoming a boxer, and I must say, if I had, I am convinced I would have made it to the top, but my looks may have suffered, though my bank balance would have been healthy, I also became a Principal Dancer, small-scale acting, and mucho singing in a long-established vocal quartet, and solo as a Jazz/crooner singer across the open seas and on dry land at select venues like London’s Royal Albert Hall and Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines among them.

This performing phase was and remains the best years of my life (so far), not just because I loved what I was doing and getting paid for it, but I travelled far and wide, soaked up different cultures, social practices, languages, for the most part, warm to hot sunshine and developed even more attuned people skills.

I eventually got married (it seems to happen to us all) and I became a father, a father of girls. Now I draw no distinction between having girls as opposed to boys, but it seems to me that I have been surrounded by women my entire life. I love my girls to bits. I have made mistakes, let them down, did not make them always my number 1 priority, there are many reasons for that, but they know I love them deeply; it is a bond like no other and it draws intense emotion just recalling how I feel about them now. LOVE is a common expression between us. We still have some fine experiences to share going forward, so no regrets, just acknowledgement of what was and what can be.

If I had not become a father, I can only imagine where my performing career may have led…

One of my qualities is I don’t like starting something and not seeing it through.  This goes for relationships, projects, anything where there’s a goal or mission to be completed… even vacuuming, or ironing is taken on with this precision, no retreat no surrender mindset… it is both a virtue, but also a weakness.

You see when I agree with someone, anyone that I will do something and they commit to the same, I will always find a way to making it happen. I like to think (correction, I know) that I am reliable, and not just in arriving at an agreed location on time, every time. So trust plays a big part in that ‘John, you had better not say you’re going to do this, and then when the going gets tough, you look to bail out’ (this is not me reader); I am driven, so the only time I have ever stopped creating and realising, is when I have formed a partnership with someone who does not share my integrity or commitment.

It rarely happens, but when it does, it lowers my faith in human kind. Why? Because I like to believe when someone says this or that, I choose to believe that they mean it. So I guess with the me first mentality so readily available in the 21st century, I guess I have some naivety; it is a default quality learned through those formative years, because back then, where the simple things occupied our minds and gave us such joy, trust was never in question for me – it is different now, but I must say, only the rare few do not keep their word, it is very rare in fact – so I have been pretty lucky in truth.

I have rekindled my faith in prayer, and it is making a real difference. Each week I will take a two-mile or so walk to a local church; not during a service, but just to enter, kneel and pray for those that matter and for those that do not – and the usual Peace and Love for all. I also make some special requests, seek forgiveness always, and leave the church for the open streets feeling wholly refreshed.

Recently I have experienced some stuff that in every sense of the word, is unjustified. I could of course choose to react and let myself down, my girls and 2-year-old grandson down, but moreover the values that have so lovingly been bestowed upon me by my mother and father, would be ripped to shreds. I won’t let that happen under any circumstances. I have a brand, a reputation that I am proud of and acquired through everything that I do and have done, and I can honestly say it represents Good.

This Blog is one fine thread of many of who I am – so no, reaction is not good and not my way, it is laced with emotion and by default, this is prone to unpredictability. I choose to respond… I respond with silence, self-discipline, dignity and a determined focus on what I need to do; and I am attracting the ‘right people’ that have seemingly been sent to me to aid my resilience and help me to move forward. I also believe in Karma.

I am in great shape health-wise, I feel like I am 25, but of course the flesh is at times a little weak, so there are experiences awaiting me that will shape who I am further. I am already meeting a broad range of people (mostly women) and enjoying interactions that are on a different level to what has gone before, and they are demonstrating that they are close to the page or on the same page that I am.

As I have moved to the head of the family, my girls and my G’son are now firmly my priority in terms of planning for the future. To do this, I have several targets in my view finder, and as I have said earlier, I am driven, so should anyone wish to throw a grenade or three in my way, two words, don’t bother.