We’re a strange species are we not? I am often confounded and astounded by the things we do.
So many of us are living a life of undesired discontent, not happy, no idea of how things will transpire in the short or mid-term.
Yet we still have the ultimate power of choice, do we not?
It’s a paradox right? We have the power to choose and yet so many of us do not make the right choices. Why is that? Lack of knowledge or experience… fear or perceived expectations perhaps?
Well I have a theory. I believe that many of us don’t choose for ourselves, we actually make choices based on what we think we should do, what the media tells us to do, what others are doing, what is hip and trendy, what emotions we are feeling at any one time... am I making sense?
When we are young, most choices are instinctive. Yet somewhere between those early years and adulthood, the internal lines of nature becomes blurred with the external lines of expectation and what drives the ego; and of course with ego, there’s a downside; unfulfillment.
So how do we get what we want, achieve our needs, and find that rare form of unconditional love?
It all stems from what you want, what you need and what you love.
What do you want for you? What do you need for you? What do you want to love, and who do you want to love?
Quite honestly, we do make so many decisions in our lives complicated, needlessly I might add. Keep things simple.
All things in life requires effort and to some degree, necessary planning and a set of realizable aims.
So what are your aims?
Start with the end in mind, how do you plan to realize those aims; work backwards. What tools, resources and choices are needed to make your aims come into fruition – yes there’s a need for effort, application and a positive mental attitude, yet none of us could walk without falling down countless times as toddlers. So effort and motivation is inherent in our psyche and human nature.
Therefore effort and motivation must be and will be your twin partners in life, draw on them both; it’s a bottomless resource, ready and waiting to be unlocked and deployed; if we only choose to call on and apply them. Find it!
Life as we know isn’t easy, so much of what we do is impacted by external and internal factors that can affect our lives in ways that we have little or no control over, but we still do have the ultimate POWER OF CHOICE, and with it, a myriad of outcomes and consequences.
Is your experience and life almost identical to where it was just 6 months ago?
The question I must ask, is why?
The turning of the year traditionally inspires the many to lay down personal goals and targets for the upcoming year, yet 6 months on, little has changed for the many.
Are you still in a poor relationship, still looking for Mr or Ms right, still in that dead-end job, still looking to lose weight, still hoping for things to change, whilst you choosing not to change or apply action; the proverbial SITTING ON YOUR HANDS?
All the above targets are motives for change, however we all like routine to some extent, some more than others, and it is this routine of activity that needs to be broken. The same routine of activity will only produce the same experience and outcomes – so you know what to do right?
Reaching goals and targets can for some be a lonely, isolating and mundane experience, some people will need others to encourage them, to lay out a plan of action, to be with them during their journey. So find someone who you can trust that will stay the course alongside you, make the experience fun, whether that is just sharing your achievements or they too have similar goals and so you work together to accomplish them.
If you don’t ask, you won’t get.
In particular when it comes to relationships. For many of us, just having that right person around is enough to change our world. That special person will imbue you with a positive view on life, all things are now possible. So whether you are using online dating sites or you know who it is you want to engage with, have the courage and let them know; don’t over think, and do not be worried about being rejected, this is a given factor across relationship building, both personal and professional.
That very first goal conquered will empower you, it’s that YES feeling! Each empowered moment will and should drive you on to achieve other targets. It’s a long road, but even a long road can be conquered with little steps. Application is key here, it goes back to my opening introduction; taking action is critical. Nothing will change unless you do!
And most importantly…
Did you survive the NY celebrations? Let me take this opportunity to wish you a Happy New Year.
Now will your 2017 be pretty much the same as 2016 or will you step way out of your comfort zone and finally do what you have always wanted to do? Well I sure hope for the latter.
Here are 5 disciplines that may assist you in realizing your goals for this year and corresponding years.
1st. Whatever drives your passion, let this be your goal for 2017. Nothing beats pursuing something that truly excites, and that you also know deeply that you’re good at. Be it sport, writing, creating a work of art; whatever it is, make it your key aim for 2017 and be relentless with it.
2nd. If your goal requires a plan, and you’re not sure how to create a plan, seek professional or informed support. Sometimes just like those who seek to lose weight, having someone to share your journey can be the difference between giving up or realising sought after success. So don’t be afraid or reluctant or even too proud to contact someone if needed. Always but always be truthful with yourself.
3rd. State of mind. Once you have decided on what you really want to do or have always wanted to do, take action. We all know often that New Year resolutions are often just words of intent, and not affirmative action. The best way to take action is simply to act. Some goals will require confidence, calculated risk and said planning, but none of these are of any value without application.
4th. Live and enjoy the experience. During your journey, along the way, there will be key empowerment moments. Those golden nuggets of achievement that drives you to punch the air with a resounding YES! Such milestones will undoubtedly fuel your enthusiasm and need for even greater barriers to break.
5th. Balance. Just with the universe, there’s a need for balance in all things in every aspect. So take time out to live too. Travel, party, family, a good walk, music, reading etc., even when achieving goals, there must always be a sense of ME TIME!
Here’s a footnote…
We’ve seen throughout 2016 that change can be both surprising and unpredictable – this may sound obvious, but the best way to predict what happens in 2017 for you is to a) to plan it, b) to work it and c) achieve it…. with some never refuse luck thrown in!