Getting through life as we all know is tough at the best of times, but one way to smooth the way forward, is bullet proof effective people skills. Whether in a professional environment or a domestic one, getting along with people from all walks of life is vital for a contented and successful life.
We must accept that none of us are born with natural people skills, we are taught and some of us are taught better than others. Ownership of a toy between two toddlers could spiral out of control, it’s incumbent on someone with a little more knowledge to demonstrate give and take and the rules regarding reciprocation.
1st. There’s nothing more attractive than good manners. Traditional habits are dwindling. Saying ‘thank you, ‘good morning/afternoon/evening/night’, ‘let me do that for you’ ‘how are you?’ etc,. Also allowing someone to speak without interruption I consider to be good manners – being able to listen for many is very attractive, particularly when someone has something important to say. Looking directly into someone eyes when being spoken to is both critical in business and in intimate relationships.
Physical things like opening doors, giving way, forming an orderly queue, taking your head wear off in a place of worship, dressing appropriately for the environment that one is sharing, giving up a seat for someone who clearly needs it, using appropriate language, helping someone in need… and behavioural things like being humble and showing gratitude.
None of this is new to any of us right, however with much of the focus today is using digital devices and communicating virtually, plus my own observation that we’re increasingly becoming self-centred, money orientated and more guarded, the positive social attributes mentioned above much of the time do not reach our daily consciousness.
2nd. Laughter!! Humour always wins the day. Sadness isn’t a pleasant experience, but laughter is. A physiological diagnosis “Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.”
Laughter, even in a morose tension filled setting can and will remove stress and anxiety in an instant. Speaking directly to my male readers, we all know that one way to a woman’s heart or anyone’s heart is making them laugh. If you make a toddler laugh through some simple play, that child will keep repeating the act so that you can continue to make them laugh. We all know that eventually it will get tiresome. Laughter is not only addictive, it is contagious. You don’t need to know what the cause of the laughter is, but you in turn will at the very least smile.
A joke or lighthearted banter during a 1st time meeting can and will make you more likeable and smooth the way to that crucial deal or in getting hired. Not many people are attracted to someone who seems guarded or defensive.
In an intimate setting, when making love and something triggers a snigger, this will likely increase the loving bond on top of the necessary ecstasy.
3rd. Mirror what you see (but don’t make it obvious). I made reference to appearing or being defensive in point 2. The opposite is being open and available. Being approachable is every sales or customer facing person’s necessary demeanour. How many times have you entered a store and no one even acknowledges you. Even if you have a body language of someone who looks unapproachable, or you fit a negative stereotype, that person who works there should at the very least attempt to disarm and welcome you.
Non verbal communication is just as important in business as it is in the home. No one likes to be made to feel that they could be walking on egg shells. Behaving unnaturally in a relationship is NOT GOOD, not replying, not hugging, not sitting together, not dining at the table, turning one’s back, not going to bed at the same time, no PDA… being manipulative, attempting to control another, wanting them to conform to a particular image or behaviour, all bad stuff.
If the person you are with has a passion, show interest. People like talking about themselves, believe me. Music and food are areas where you’re sure to find commonality.
If someone who you are communicating with is sad, empathise, if they’re happy, acknowledge it, if they’re being serious or is concerned, listen intently and don’t interrupt.
There’s clearly much more to people skills than I have highlighted here, there’s a glossary of information across the internet and in libraries, so swat up.
We can all do much better in applying effective people skills, it’s a learned tool that can optimise your career, your business, your love life, your social life, your family life and make your entire life so much more enjoyable.
Here’s an interesting link http://www.cacareercafe.com/people-skills/
Pic credit to the beehive Atlanta