Tag Archives: consequences

Assume nothing, question everything


My precious time has over recent months been taken up with defending my personal reputation.

The experience was in my and many others opinion unjustified and when you consider the people who have sought to dent my reputation, strangely weird. This fight, went all the way to a Court of Law, yes you heard me, the halls of justice!

Why you may ask did I have to go through this unpleasant experience? Well I don’t know, and I mean I really don’t know. My instinct is to believe I failed to learn at an earlier juncture, so…

You may think that because I consistently promote good over evil, highlight right over wrong, and try to inspire those around me every day of my life, I may be in some way lower down the list of targets, but alas there are those that such qualities brings out the worse of human qualities, everything from lying, to spite and worse still; hatred, the nemesis of LOVE indeed.

There’s some history and it goes a long way back, but I don’t really want to out the person(s) that have caused my life to be thrown around like a small stone in a tin can, as I would only be imitating those perpetrators mindset, and I want to keep up my dignity and decorum that to be fair, I have at times struggled to do; but succeeded in doing throughout this awful pointless saga. Every time I felt like I was losing it, I thought of my daughters and what would they think if I did – I could not disgrace them or myself.

There’s anger felt by those that know me, my reputation, care for me and have seen my efforts and commitment given, but anger achieves nothing does it? It only serves to hurt the carrier more than the target of retribution. It ultimately makes one look like a fool and opens the door for more bad tidings.

Well I am now in something of a fermented pickle, as I say, my life has been turned upside down by people to whom I have contributed so much to enable a distinct elevation in their quality of life; everything from foods, music, home style, adult skills, places, assets and culture – gratitude is however not a quality that comes easily for these people sadly.

My staunch contribution, commitment and I must add tolerance would be considered hard currency by many, but as I said earlier, this experience/outcome offers no real rational explanation, it is just WEIRD!

Karma has already begun her work, and I hope just enough to teach. Just enough to stimulate self-reflection. Just enough to generate the smallest sense of contrition – I must hope.

I visited a church and prayed for their forgiveness, not because I feel hurt (though I do) or was seeking sympathy, but because I really don’t wish them undue harm, and I definitely don’t want my locked down primeval thoughts to bring bad karma my way.

If you should ask me to sum up my feelings, well based on the years passed, effort spent, and time shared, it would be one of deep and unlimited disappointment. The two missing qualities that was conspicuous by their absence in the halls of justice… Truth and Integrity 😦

I will take this learning experiencing, blend it into rich wisdom and put it to good use on behalf of those that really matter.

Life rarely fails to surprise does it? Be with me reader, be with me, I need your positive energy and thoughts!Morals and Religon 

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Our thoughts = Our reality


FreudMany of us will be dissatisfied with the life we’re living.  Now why is that? Is it due to some outside influence; like that irritating so and so making your hoped for regular life a misery? Hmm, the above is certainly arguable.

However have you at anytime thought that perhaps it may just be you? Yes you!

What are you talking about John, I hear you ask…

Right now I find myself sharing life space with people who I have given 20% of my life to; yes a long time indeed. These people for reasons most would find hard to comprehend, have singled me out for ill will. Why? Well it is a long running saga that I have raised time and time again with those involved to no avail. So yes, I have sought to discuss the adversarial challenge, but in this case a problem shared was not a problem halved, no, rather it became a problem doubled.

I will express here and now, that I am not into the ‘blame’ culture. Pointing fingers at whomever or whatever will relinquish my accountability and responsibility.  In short, giving up my ability to dictate my life. A little like someone with an addiction to alcohol, never accepting that the outsourced effects on their life and others is due to their habit and eventual illness.

So I have traced backwards through my history from where I am today, and have identified when and why I made a committed choice in good trust, that has later turned out not to be to my liking. The relevant point here, is that it was MY CHOICE.

Let me say, that from that single choice until the present day, I have had many opportunities to change the course of my recent history, and have CHOSEN not to; again for honest, responsible and transparent reasons.

So though I have not set out to deliberately destabilise my present, my past thinking and later actions has created just that.

Do you understand where I am coming from now?

Look, let’s be candid, one cannot predict the behaviours, attitudes or moreover guarantee the integrity and honesty of others, these factors remain out of our control. Those who seek to control others are fooling themselves that the end result will justify the means.

My recent experience has confirmed something I have long known, and embraced, that my every thought underpins my entire reality.

What have I learned? I have learned that I will continue to be generous, considerate, supportive, balanced, intuitive, speak and live my truth, and continue to trust and hope.

You might say, what’s with the trust thingy if your trust has been taken for granted John… well it’s like this, there may be some (correction: there are) untrustworthy people out there, but dear reader, I am not one of them.