Tag Archives: Changing Lives


Here are some life events that I will never forget..

  • As a five year old playing Herod the King with a plastic floppy sword
  • How my mother’s tears will instantly make me weep when I was young
  • My father bringing home bottles of Makeson Stout and chocolate eggs every Friday after work
  • Being able to tread water in the deep end at a swimming pool
  • My first kiss on my crush’ lips in the school playground, no tounges
  • The first time aged 9 a school friend showed her vagina to me in a classroom
  • When I lost my virginity aged 15 with my sister’s friend at a family party – she seduced me!
  • The sensation of driving a car for the very first time
  • Having a street fight with one arm; someone tried to rob me, but all they got was an empty wallet and a busted nose for their troubles (if it happened today with sharp weapons being the tool of combat) I may not be here right now
  • Winning a national team dance competiton, we all fully lost it!!
  • Performing on stage in Milan with Renato Raschel (he of solo mio fame) aged 20
  • Discovering love in Italy with my dance partner Kerry Moore aged 20; we should be together today, but…
  • Leaving home, watching my parents sadness and buying a home aged 23
  • Having my first born aged 27, now Mrs Kyla Frye-Onilude
  • Joining a vocal quartet and traveling the world aged 31, who’s founder died in March last year RIP, and then traveling the world as a solo artist mid 30s
  • Travelling to Kenya with my 2nd daughter who’s nickname is Cocky, who I love dearly, an experience that I will happily take to my grave – 3 safaris in two weeks, the TV doesn’t capture the majesty of the animal kingdom whatsoever
  • Losing my grandson to cot death; no words can describe that tragic experience. RIP
  • Incorporating my first company late 30s, but with the wrong people
  • Earning a six figure salary as a member of the Board of Directors at a computer services enterprise
  • Flying to Manhattan a month before 9/11 and visited the Windows of the World restaurant at the top of the World Trade Centre. Timing and all that
  • Losing my old man in 2008 to leukaemia in just 4 days, my mentor!
  • My now 5 year old grandson, a talent  coming to your screens in the not too distant future; mark my words
  • Witnessing and being part of my daughter’s glorious wedding just last August, man she was incredibly beautiful on the day just as she was at her birth

One of my, if not the most cherished memory, was being able to translate a letter from Spanish into English for my mother, and watched the pride on her face as I did so.

Now, I have much to look forward to, living in the Mediterranean, watching my G’son grow up, and possibly others on the way too; and making the right choices and being with the right people in doing the right things, at the planned time.

Live n Love

My dog Louie, he was a character!



Rules for Life #42 It’s what you don’t do that shapes your life direction

Right now, many of us will know that if we had only taken that key action or decision, we would be living a totally different and superior life.

You know, life will always offer up golden opportunities, it’s whether we recognise them or, when we do, grasp them. Being proactive and affirmative in our actions is vitally important, but this is based usually on our desires, wishes and needs.

What our universe will from time to time present, are windows of exceptional opportunities that are not planned, not thought of, not considered and never imagined.

These are the golden nuggets that we must always try to identify and grasp; you will usually hear it in your silent mind or feel it in your bones.

Look, right now we all have something we want to do, something we may even need to do, but we’re conditioned to follow our daily pattern of behaviour… so we will turn on Netflix and binge, spend hours on social media, we will indulge in our often health damaging habits, we spend time admiring those very icons, that have grasped the universal opportunities served to them, instead of investing in ourselves.


Here’s the thing… affirmative action.

You know you want to make that call – So make it!

You want to be that expert – start as a beginner; all experts were beginners!

You want to see the world – plan, save and do it!

You want to be rich – learn from those who are; buy their biographies, replicate authentically, and work damn hard.

You want to speak a different language – study, practice and speak it!

Want to get back what you give – keep on giving, even when you don’t get it back immediately, give it time, it surely will – what goes around comes around.

Need to lose weight – be more active, eat less and be persistent until you achieve your target weight; seek help if necessary.

Need to find someone to love – stop what you’re doing, take a leap of faith, be brave and go somewhere, where you’ve never been before perhaps; you may potentially bump into that special someone who you had never expected to meet – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are a fine example; believe me, there’s someone out there for all of us.

Ultimately, be bold and take a risk!

I could go on and on… but I won’t, you get it right? 🙂

So when (and it is always when) our Mother Universe send you her gifts, don’t ever turn your back, embrace the moment, use the moment and shape your life!



Risk & Reward

This time last year I was unsure of what the future may hold; this period was not only confusing and stressful, but this period also allowed me to discover ME in more depth. So I am rewarded.

We all want to live a life that brings happiness, pleasure, wealth and security. What we should actually aim for is Life Contentment. Contentment is akin to nirvana if you will, all the other experiences can and is often short-lived, in particular happiness, but all can nurture insecurity, jealousy, depression and other negative fall-outs.

This time last year I took a risk. I decided I wanted to move to another country. I am attracted to adventure, new cultures and people. In doing so I benefit from learning or adapting to a different way to live. Experiencing how others adapt to my character or my physical appearance is important to me both personally and professionally.

But before all this, I have had to endure (the necessary) extreme chaos and (required) stress. Yet throughout I knew that I was, and still am served by a universal love; a love that protects, illuminates and guides.

Now I am in another country. While my previous location is currently cold (I am not a fan of cold weather), where I am now is warm and balmy.

Look, I could have remained in the comfort zone, a nice place, but as a well-known quote states ‘little grows there’. I could have avoided all the mental doubts, all the anxiety and financial costs, and be the mouse on the wheel in our global cage, waking up and experiencing the daily repeat repeat repeat, then going to bed and waking up the following day and experiencing repeat repeat repeat. Sorry this is not living this is existing!

So I am on my way to creating a rich life of contentment, a life where I continue to learn about most importantly about myself and critically others on a daily basis.

Take note of this universal rule…


I have been nominated…

I received some excellent yet humbling news today; someone or some people have felt that what I represent, and what I do in seeking to change lives for the better, is worthy of a nomination… this nomination is an MBE.

I am so grateful for those who see me as a positive role model locally and or nationally, but I do what I do without ever seeking recognition for doing so. I just wish to make a difference. Nothing more, nothing less.

So whomever you are, whatever motivated you, I thank you.

Now I have a challenge, because I am strongly against imperialism of any kind, and this award is emblematic of such in British history. Do I need those three letters to underpin what I do publicly, perhaps, but what I do is inherently me… it is my DNA, those letters means much, MBE? I am not so sure, but I do have this sabotage habit of shooting myself in the foot when it comes to accepting award or reward.

Believe it or not, there are some people out there, that would like to see me suffer, ruined, unhappy… you know who you are, this is a WET FISH SLAP in your faces!

Moreover I am humbled, honoured and a tad sad because my parents are not here to share this moment with me; my daughters will be delighted, my protegé son, has already congratulated me, and those of you who do know me well, will be pleased I am sure.

Above all, I must be doing something right, and that is really all that matters!

Feeling Incredibly Blessed.