Keep Calm It’s My Daughter’s Birthday!


On the 10th of October 1987 my eldest daughter was born, today is her birthday!

There’s a special bond with your first-born. I love all my girls the same, and what I mean is, is that not one of them will find my favour more than the other.

However, this year has been quite a remarkable one for my eldest, she’s now gotten married, and hoping to expand our family.

It only seems like yesterday when she won TV toddler of the year when she was 2 years old.

Photo below taken on the day!

11140070_10153280658619904_5797089855625146327_n

Since then she now owns her own production company, worked on both the small and large screens and on stage, created her own brand of clothing, hosted the annual BUFF awards to her usual no frills excellent standards, and of course, now married.

Along with the above she has gone through tragedy; losing her nephew before he had the chance or the maturity to get to know his aunt, losing three of her grandparents, been suffering with mental illness, though you wouldn’t know it, and buried her sister’s cat Midnite. With that backdrop, on the plus side, she’s been a dedicated support to her mum, granddad and sisters, but has also witnessed her dad (me) suffer injustice, which turned out to be a blessing in truth and has led me to an even better place of existence.

A Superwoman indeed!

Today is her birthday, her 3Oth.

I recall when I was working the stage in Mallorca, Spain, I was 33 years old, she was 5 and at the front of the stage with her sister who was 3 years old, both were dancing with such glee and pride on their faces watching their dad dancing and singing; that memory will never be erased.

6bed220967e69d838e3effcecf61ed6c                                                                               Artist Cidne Wallace

So, my dearest Kyla, my first-born, my love.

Here’s to your 30th year of your life.

I can only ask that you continue to be the remarkable being that you are, not only for me, your mum and family, but being the change that we all want to see that is manifested in your free to air expression. Your dedication, your intelligence, your positive energy, your charisma, your commitment to your cause, your joy, your incredible smile and dashing beauty.

Live and Love always my sweet angel, Love Poppa!

https://www.facebook.com/DanielSutkaPhotography/12088131_10153668751824904_6881222747539039_n

Happy Birthday KVOFrye

Pic credit to Fab Design Co’.

 

Advertisements

Rules for Life #39 A problem shared, is a problem halved…


Do you have someone who you can turn to when you’re going through a challenge, a problem or even a crisis? Well I sure hope you do!

We humans despite how much we mess things up, we usually rise to assist someone in need, not all of us, but most of us will. Those who don’t, well it’s difficult to know why, but there can be all manner of things that deter them from holding out a helping hand.

I struggle to see someone going through a crisis and not give a supporting voice, a listening ear, a helping hand, or simply take the problem over and sort it out for them.

I love the underdog, those who need help, I am there…

But that’s me; and as they say the more you give the more you get back – not instantly, but overtime your kindness, empathy, compassion, understanding will be reciprocated in some way – plus the more you give, the better you feel about yourself.

GOOD KARMA has a way of finding its angels and rewarding them.

Here’s one of my mottos…

The difference between an outstretched palm and a helping hand is a twist of a wrist.

EzyEmp

c819ff8d1885707996048e670770026f--helping-others-quotes-make-time

Perception is more powerful than reality


Sometimes I often and do need to reflect on my personal journey, for reasons that some of you may share or in some tenuous way, understand.

As ever, on the top of my journey list are people; people who you think are friends or even family, but when you dig deeper, you begin to discover that they only have and use their own self-interest as leverage to move their lives forward, whilst using others as human vehicles.

Added to that journey list, are those that drop their external mask and what is revealed behind their crumbling mask is not the person you thought you knew, but a person who you don’t really know at all.

I recall a story, where a married Italian couple who were married for well over 60 years and was celebrating their wedding anniversary. The wife revealed to her husband who are both now well into their 80s, that she had a fling very early on in their marriage. This revelation so enraged her longtime, husband, lover, partner and friend, that he divorced her.

(As you know my mantra is never make emotional decisions)

She clearly felt that having lived together for so long over many decades, that such an honest confession would be weighed up against and understood by her husband, over what they have shared and nurtured over such a long time, well she was clearly wrong… and he believed that his wife was as faithful as the nose on his face!

The saddest thing is, that there was very little life left for them both. 

Perception is more powerful than reality right?

If I know anything in life is that anyone can infiltrate minds by creating a perception of credibility; scammers, cheaters, politicians, fake news…

It can be a very useful tool to have in our life journey tool bag, but use wisely.

However, when all is said and done, eventually the time will come when ‘the boy who cried wolf’, will not be taken seriously because, there’s was no WOLF!

As you know, people fascinate me, in every way possible – from toddlers who could not give a care in the world, who are stainless, openhearted and precious, to those who have seen all that the world has to offer, have forged judgmental opinions on this and that, and still have influence and much to say!

Yet ultimately, it is what lies deep in our hearts and not in our minds that will determine our destiny, the indelible influences during our formative years, what we choose to do and the consequences thereof, who we ride with through life, and that all important attitude to life effect.

EzyEmp

200250-Life-Is-All-About-Perception

 

 

 

The Great Grandmother of all Fairytales!


Well what can I say, I gave my daughter away to a man who as sure as I am alive today, he will be beside her, behind her and deep deep within her heart.

They’re now on their own journey of self discovery, one which may reveal cracks along the way, but with love and commitment they will for sure both overcome even the greatest of STORMS!

I really must remark on just how extraordinarily beautiful my daughter looked, sometimes I just need to thank the universe and all that the forces for good keeps blessing me with.

I cannot be more proud to have enabled a life to be filled with the realisation of a cherished fairytale, one that my daughter will nurture and grow, with intelligence and undiluted focus.

To Mr. Marcus Onilude & Mrs. Kyla Frye-Onilude.

Stay united, stay composed through challenges, stay grounded, be joyous in whatever you both do, stay committed to your own deity, build your life on love, peace and balance in all things.

From your Poppa and Father in-Law.

And remember this…

download

 

 

 

Rules for Life #38 Respect.


The ‘do unto others’ statement should be a moral code for all of us, but in my experience it is too often ignored and instead the Me Me Me and more Me mentality prevails in the social winds!

The respect is earned and not given… I like to give respect, whether or not it is returned does not matter to me, it is my moral code.

However I am the three strikes and out kind of guy, I am tolerant to the point where I can put up with insincerity for a while, but not for eternity. There is that topical ‘RED LINE’ that I mentally and emotionally have programmed within, and when triggered, sorry, no disrespect, but please take a hike!

Feeling respected is an empowering feeling, it makes you feel worthy doesn’t it?

The I AM SOMEBODY moment.

For those of us who lack self-esteem, or don’t feel worthy, a few kind words, and or just being gracious, can lift them out of the dark mood mire.

Respect therefore is incredibly powerful. 

Women, minorities, the disabled, the disenfranchised and those who are poorly educated or introverted, may have a deep need to be respected. Some, in specific circumstances and or environments, could have their negative emotions easily roused, if a look, or a word that is being negatively perceived, can ignite this emotion, and in turn can lead to anxiety, trigger shame, and shift their mood to one of anger or even violence.

Learn to be aware of this.

Look, there’s always something we can learn from our fellow human being, regardless of how we look, or where we have come from. So keep an open mind.

d9ae5612841310348f4cdd1f4738ea9a

Do not make the mistake that being respected means being valued, VALUE is a far deeper expression of affection socially than being respected. Respect is often viewed as an external social behaviour and or need, but being valued is an internal emotion; irreplaceable in fact.

The expression of I VALUE YOU, resonates much deeper in my view than the often insincere words of I LOVE YOU, in whatever language.

So respect is important as stated, it can make some of us feel like we are appreciated, it also plays to our ego for some of us – we all possess some elements of ego, it is what drives us to do this and that… like combing our hair, looking in the mirror, or buying that new car with the new high-tech gadget that no one else has, or some of us just trying to get that tan on vacation to make others appreciate us more – not that I need to do so of course.

Ultimately, respect is just good old-fashioned good manners, it is one of the many social qualities that binds people together, improves communication, and both champions equality and removes inequality across humanity.

We witness it among the animal kingdom don’t we, so let’s apply respect whenever and however we can.

EzyEmp.

 

 

 

Want it – say it. Need it – get it. Love it – show it.


We’re a strange species are we not? I am often confounded and astounded by the things we do.

So many of us are living a life of undesired discontent, not happy, no idea of how things will transpire in the short or mid-term.

Yet we still have the ultimate power of choice, do we not? 

It’s a paradox right? We have the power to choose and yet so many of us do not make the right choices. Why is that? Lack of knowledge or experience…  fear or perceived expectations perhaps?

Well I have a theoryI believe that many of us don’t choose for ourselves, we actually make choices based on what we think we should do, what the media tells us to do, what others are doing, what is hip and trendy, what emotions we are feeling at any one time... am I making sense?

When we are young, most choices are instinctive. Yet somewhere between those early years and adulthood, the internal lines of nature becomes blurred with the external lines of expectation and what drives the ego; and of course with ego, there’s a downside; unfulfillment.

38c6bce3a9b7565edbcc572965909f2e--decision-making-quotes-when-you-make-a-mistake-quotes

So how do we get what we want, achieve our needs, and find that rare form of unconditional love?

Some advice…

It all stems from what you want, what you need and what you love.

What do you want for you? What do you need for you? What do you want to love, and who do you want to love?

Quite honestly, we do make so many decisions in our lives complicated, needlessly I might add. Keep things simple.

All things in life requires effort and to some degree, necessary planning and a set of realizable aims.

So what are your aims?

Start with the end in mind, how do you plan to realize those aims; work backwards. What tools, resources and choices are needed to make your aims come into fruition – yes there’s a need for effort, application and a positive mental attitude, yet none of us could walk without falling down countless times as toddlers. So effort and motivation is inherent in our psyche and human nature.

Therefore effort and motivation must be and will be your twin partners in life, draw on them both; it’s a bottomless resource, ready and waiting to be unlocked and deployed; if we only choose to call on and apply them. Find it!

Life as we know isn’t easy, so much of what we do is impacted by external and internal factors that can affect our lives in ways that we have little or no control over, but we still do have the ultimate POWER OF CHOICE, and with it, a myriad of outcomes and consequences.

Choose wisely! 

EzyEmp.

 

 

An expanding family…


In 2 weeks and 2 days, my eldest daughter will be getting married.

Now all marriages will and should be an occasion for joy, merriment, commitment and love. My daughter has all these qualities and more in abundance.

She’s also incredibly beautiful.

So what does this mean for me?

Well it kind of suggests that I am moving along the conveyor belt of life. It also means that I will be given the appendage of an ‘in-law’. It also means that I will have a Son in-law; I don’t have a son, but her fiancé, despite being a Liverpool FC fan, is truly a wonderful guy in the traditional sense.

It also means that I must make a key-note speech at the wedding reception without screwing up.

3 out of 4 of her grandparents have since passed away, one sadly relatively recent, and as such, only her Grandfather on her mother’s side will be there to witness his grand daughters’ fairytale day.

During a time when relationships are becoming increasingly under pressure for all the reasons that are obvious, these two people have also been through unrelenting and at times unjustified pressure, but have come out the other side with smiles and positive optimism for the future; how have they done that?

Well as my daughter would say, “IT’S A PARTNERSHIP Poppa”.

Yes for sure it is precisely that. 

You can read all about my daughter @kylafrye in this magazine or follow her on Twitter.

DGx_960WsAAETov

2 weeks and 2 days and counting… from a proud Poppa.

EzyEmp

Reflection : Change : Growth