Category Archives: relationships

Where are your ‘friends’ when you need them? Oh yeah, they don’t need you right now!


If there’s one thing about me, I never look away when a friend is in need of help… and I mean never.

Yet these are the very same friends, that will look the other way when a friend comes in search for support, whatever the circumstances or whomever they are.

Life as we know isn’t always easy, though our lives is way much better than the vast majority of the inhabitants of our beautiful planet.

But there are times, when one hits rock bottom, not through one’s own fault, but through mitigating circumstances, yes we’ve all been there or at some point if you’ve not been there, be sure at some point you will experience it.

I have been there dozens of times and it only serves to make me stronger and more empathetic to others in need.

It is often necessary to hit rock bottom, it forces one to be a little more imaginative and motivated and cunning and tenacious etc. etc.

But without a solid network of friends and family, you can drift a little or a lot, it depends on how motivated you feel to address your current problem.

As I said early in this post, I can help anyone if I am in a position to do so, if I am not I will be the first to openly admit that I cannot, it is called integrity and being honest, which in turn nurtures trust and that much sought after attribute, respect!

However, human beings are a flawed species, over the centuries we choose what is good for us and us alone, not always, but more often than not, most of the time.

Even those close to us are flawed, we may love them, even like them, but at the end of the day they and we are flawed.

So where am I going with this message, just think about giving a little, giving will often return the favour, not immediately but at some point in this life or the next, you will be rewarded, or God forbid, you may eventually lose that cherished friend or family member.

Friends or Foe, be aware people!

EzyEmp    

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Brown grass…


By Gregory Porter.

It is easy in a world where most of us are never or rarely satisfied, to overlook what we have and just how far we have come.

It’s easy to overlook the 90%, focus on the 10%, give up and move on.

Not being satisfied if used for motivation, is a good thing, it offers one drive and the desire to reach that key goal, however if used for greed and gain underpinned with insecurity and how others may be thinking, well that’s another matter entirely.

If you’re instinct is telling you this doesn’t feel right, then act, instinct is your real self.

DO NOT and NEVER IGNORE!

If you are on the other hand comparing yourselves to material images, icons or what others may judge you by, well again, that’s another matter entirely.

The vast majority of us are in a better place than 2/3rd of the world’s population, only in our consumer driven, glossy image and money orientated world, this just is not enough right?

So many of us do not sleep well enough, because after putting your heavy head on your soft pillow, in just 5-6-7-8 hours, the next day is where you will walk on the glorious and inherited stage of life, and that’s where you are exposed to all manner of threats, comparisons and judgments, and in order to compete, we think short term, what do I need to look like today? What gadget should I have in my possession? Who should I associate myself with or to?

We will often cut our nose off to spite our face, very often for no justifiable reason or rational unemotional cause. Following which, as time continues to move on and on, and when we look back, the reflection is a disturbing FACE PALM, SHAKE MY HEAD moment; an action that we look back on with regret, but as you know I espouse that regrets are necessary, without regrets, we will never become wise.

So the grass you’re standing on is green, now of course there may well be greener grass some where, but it can take a series of regrets to find it, if you have the desire to experience regrets that’s great, even though I know that regrets are necessary, it really isn’t that pleasant is it?

So here’s Mr.G Porter to serenade us out into the weekend.

Live n Love

EzyEmp

Rules for Life #40… the value of #family


Our family is a rich and unlimited source of security, knowledge and love.

The family should form the foundation of our growth from childhood into becoming an influential, positive and effective adult.

Society has placed in some cases, insurmountable pressure on the family unit. The mother, father and siblings social group of the 21st century creaks alarmingly in the so-called developed world. It is being continually bombarded with negative energy that has forced many to turn their backs on their own family, and seek refuge in friends outside of their gene base who they regard as their ‘real’ family.

A tribe that administers security, knowledge and love is a tribe that can withstand all kinds of destabilising forces.

What was that statement in the Soul Food movie.., all those fingers rolled into one, can be a fist that can strike a mighty blow (sic).

A truly powerful statement.

Family is invaluable for all sorts of reasons, mainly because that’s where we learn what is what during our formative years, and these early impressions will be taken way into our adult life.

We must understand that through our family group, we have been given the responsibility and power baton to realise our true and inherent potential. It is from your duty to the family, that you should make every conceivable effort to become a more spiritually and cognitively aware being.

Having entered this plane of existence knowing and relying only on your inner-most senses, it is critical therefore that you cultivate the latent positive power through your family group, to fully enjoy the confidence to live a life that has been served to you by nature, in order to utilise these rarely used abilities.

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Be aware that you have an invisible, yet tangible effect on your blood social unit; every negative decision taken on a family platform, will harm your power base.

Welcome and embrace the changes and evolution that exists within your genealogical group, and entice the influential members to recognise and champion the importance of the family unit.

Living your life knowing that your family base is rock solid, will empower your life inextricably.

Please harness its power!

EzyEmp.

The Great Grandmother of all Fairytales!


Well what can I say, I gave my daughter away to a man who as sure as I am alive today, he will be beside her, behind her and deep deep within her heart.

They’re now on their own journey of self discovery, one which may reveal cracks along the way, but with love and commitment they will for sure both overcome even the greatest of STORMS!

I really must remark on just how extraordinarily beautiful my daughter looked, sometimes I just need to thank the universe and all that the forces for good keeps blessing me with.

I cannot be more proud to have enabled a life to be filled with the realisation of a cherished fairytale, one that my daughter will nurture and grow, with intelligence and undiluted focus.

To Mr. Marcus Onilude & Mrs. Kyla Frye-Onilude.

Stay united, stay composed through challenges, stay grounded, be joyous in whatever you both do, stay committed to your own deity, build your life on love, peace and balance in all things.

From your Poppa and Father in-Law.

And remember this…

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The Power of Reliance


Have you ever agreed to do undertake an action with someone, and that someone has either proposed that action, or agrees to your proposal, and lo and behold that someone fails to show up? Yep, me too. Irksome right?

I spoke about Trust and Truth being positive (but fading) values, but Reliance too is vital for social cohesion, relationships of whatever kind; in business, within a family, in the halls of learning, team-work and so on.

Of course, reliance should be a natural and meaningful human behaviour, in particular when another depends on what one commits to doing, and as a result an expectation has been delivered; but words, as we know are just that, WORDS.

DEED is quite another thing, and this is often where the link in the communication/action chain breaks needlessly down.

We all know some people are serial ‘talk the talk’ but never ‘walk the walk’ merchants, we also know that some people will have a genuine excuse, but that genuine excuse should be conveyed before breaking that agreed commitment right? Good, I’m glad you agree with me.

What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander.

Not surprising, empathy is usually a missing quality; the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes just does not become apparent at any time, even when flagged, and when flagged, the defence emotion gets triggered – no one likes to have their behaviour questioned negatively.

Relationships and society depends pretty much on Reliance, and together with Truth and Trust, I have termed these values the Social Trinity; a rock solid platform for any meaningful communication, planning, team effort or goal/task achievement.

So if you are the proposer, think about this Reliance factor.

Remember a proposition by default becomes an expectation for the recipient, so switch roles mentally and try, yes try and think how you may feel.

If all else fails, remember…

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Rules for Life #34


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We are all tempted to control and mould people (particularly those we love) into a way that suits our needs and desires, but not necessarily theirs.

Good relationships are interdependent, that is, each will have their own goals, interests, likes, friends, along with personal and professional requirements. In a partnership these developed behaviours must be respected, and be afforded to evolve into a pairing that will eventually combine both parties qualities, as one will over time learn to adapt to the other naturally.

The true strength in any relationship is recognising that a problem shared is often a problem halved, this with the prerequisite respect, communication, tolerance, give and take, understanding, empathy, love etc., will create a hoped for lasting bond built on mutual respect for each other’s characteristics, habits, needs and attitudes.

EzyEmp