Category Archives: Reflections On Life

Anything that provokes thought and debate regarding how we have lived and are living, while reflecting on our future

The spoken word is key to everything!


As we bow our heads as we along the roads, avenues and paths, more and more of us choose to message, text, send an emoji, or email, rather than open our mouths.

It is what it is; of course, in our fast and speedy western world lifestyle, sending a quick heart to a loved one is enough to indicate that you truly care.

Now more than ever, our alphabet is gradually being broken down into acronyms, grammar that can be likened to hieroglyphics and images.

But the importance of sound communication won’t go away, it will be crucial at times of emergency, times when a kind word can change lives, times when the sound of a yearned for voice can raise one’s spirit, times when only the spoken word is appropriate.

Oratory is a powerful tool, it moves people to do things they never thought they could or would. Martin Luther King Jr, the YES WE CAN mantra, the sermon in a church, and so on.

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The words and vows spoken between two people getting married, the words shared at the point of a loved one’s passing, the word SORRY, that will undo tension in an instant, and the poetic words of love…

Taking communication to the work place, the reliance on computer terminals and digital screens automates so much, yet the people factor is now missing, and as we create more and more AI machines, watch out people, ALEXA is slowly becoming a loving family member.

Listening is a huge part of communication, we don’t listen to hear, we listen to respond. Active listening for those in HR, Coaching, Teaching or Learning and Development will know just how important it is to listen.

What about raising children in an adult’s presence? Kids listen to every word that is said, if you use profanity, they will too, if you use constructive words, they will too, if you speak multiple languages, they will too, the importance of diversity is vital for their future lives, we share our planet with 7BN people, not 7 people; the 5 in your home and the couple next door, the world is shared among us all, but not all of us have control over what we can do with our lives, without penalties.

But I digress; so communication is key to everything, be it prayer or a cry for help, a word of support during a catastrophe, a word to a lonely elderly person, a stranger in an elevator, someone at a bus stop, the bar person, an Illuminati, they’re no different from the rest of us… use what many of us were born with, a Brain, Thought, Tongue, and Speech, use your words wisely, try not to hurt, and don’t cause offence.

EzyEmp

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Rules for Life #41 Let go of #inaction!


It is often the things that we don’t do that determines our path in life, it is true.

We all like to have nice things, the latest material items that may boost our prestige or kudos. Yet, most of us will happily settle for routine, doing tomorrow, what we did yesterday over and over again. Just how much do we want it!

All those people who we admire or despise in public life, did one of three things… 1) they were not ready to accept the status quo. 2) they had an internal drive to achieve or master something, and 3) opportunity knocked and they seized it with both hands and some.

Let’s look at all three areas in more detail.

PROCRASTINATION. You just have to look at the famous people who may post a quote, say on Twitter, and they get plenty of likes and retweets, and someone unknown makes an identical upload, and will be ignored. Same quote different response, clearly then it is not the quote that matters, it is who tweeted it. It is all about image, perception and stardust, and to be associated with a public figure for some is like a shot of ego juice in their vein, much like taking a selfie with a public figure. Well, that public figure is no different from those in their fan base, that public figure just wasn’t prepared to allow each day to roll into years until it is too late, nope, they wanted to make a name for themselves, and with it comes fame, and all that is associated with such a status, good, bad and indifferent.

A topical subject right now.  #Weinstein

MOTIVATION. Pretty much every action we take, requires a level of motivation. Now for most of us, getting up in the morning and going to our place of work, the by-product of doing this, is getting paid. For others, it’s about doing what they love doing (not work), for others it is about competing against Mr. or Miss somebody for the coveted prize, while for others not doing so, could be the difference between a roof over their heads, or sleeping rough. Whatever it is, MOTIVATION is always ever-present. But there’s motivation and then there’s MOTIVATION. I am motivated to stay healthy, without health I have very little… so my motivation to remain in great shape mentally and physically is a key driver for me. But I am also motivated to achieve new bench marks, and goals. Something I have always done. Think of your fav musician, they were once a beginner too!

What motivates you to do something extraordinary?

TAKING A RISK. Nothing in life alters without embracing change. CHANGE. We only have to look at the leaves of the tree at this stage of the season, to see the beauty of what change can display. Opportunities, and I mean serious opportunities may only happen 3 or 4 times in one’s life. The golden key to grasping such an opportunity is to listen to your silent voice, that inner voice in your upper chamber that is telling you to do or not to do over and over again, well not doing is to continue as-is. We’ve all been there. If I had listened to my silent voice on one or two occasions, I would be living in a completely different world right now. It isn’t easy to discern what is right when faced with a remarkable opportunity, it can be intimidating, or you allow others to talk you out of grasping that golden baton and running with it for the same reason.

So how will you know if it is the right decision if you never make it?

So let go of INACTION, see how your life can become filled with experiences you used to daydream about, or continue to silently imagine.

Time waits for no one, so take action and let go of inaction!

EzyEmp

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Would you buy music without hearing it first?


So much trouble caused in our world is as a direct result of prejudgment, making assumptions, and stereotyping!

As a man of colour, I venture into environments where, often I am the odd one out! Why do I do that? Well because I see myself as equal to anyone else in this world.

I was born not knowing what I will experience due to my outward appearance before my cognitive senses kicked in, but should I need to endure such energy?

The answer is obvious.

In truth, because of my personality, and outward demeanor I don’t often experience negativity, I try to immerse myself in the community, wherever I am or wherever I go, and always with a positive outward engagement.

Of course, there will be those that live in a shrouded dark cocoon, read only stuff that superimposes their suspicions, fears and learned bias. It is not unusual for me to experience women holding on to their purse or bag when they pass close to me, but that is them and I am me, but it does irk me from time to time.

I hold on to my wallet and smart phone too, for the same reasons.

It is called security. 

Though I don’t fear the person, I fear losing my phone or valuables, it’s quite different. How do I know this? Well from 40 meters away, I sense their fear – it is an acquired sense for those of us who have that extra dose of melanin. It is rare, but some will cross over the road, while others will walk near the kerb, and others will even from afar, shift their bag to the opposite side from my path, that’s how I know that they’ve immediately judged me, not because they know me, but because people who look like me, are deemed to be dangerous. In the words of Trump… SAD!

So where am I going with this?

As the title of this blog asks, would you buy music without hearing it first? Be honest now! I suspect not. Oops I am making assumptions, my bad 🙂

Joking aside, why do so many of us judge one another??

We assume this and that, pigeon-hole people regarding race, gender, religion, wealth, demographics, how we dress, our accents, and so it goes on… without actually knowing who our fellow human being is.

Of course, in situations where there may be some kind of threat, your serene instincts will kick in, is there to protect you and will always be right.

However, when you step out your front door, and the guy or family opposite looks or behaves different from you, you make an instant assessment without even saying hello to gain some kind of response, to kick open the stubborn communication door to engage with that guy or family.

Yeah I know some of us are shy or reserved and would rather they make the first move, but suspicion and or fear in your mind generates an energy that is, shall we say discernible, and if that discernible energy translates in the mind of your neighbour as suspicion and or fear, they too won’t make the first move, so what do we have?

Yes, a stalematethis happens up and down the land.

Often times, when you engage with someone you feel suspicious about, you will often be very pleasantly surprised. We can all learn from each other, we all know something that another person doesn’t.

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Travel for me, is the best way of breaking down preconceived barriers.

Now, we like to think we’re the most intelligent species on the planet, but when you consider the above, I am not so sure.

So let’s focus on the positives…

The statementwe have more in common than what divides us‘, is a fact.

Should we take that view on a daily basis, instead of buying music we’ve never heard, the world would be a much better, more peaceful, empathetic, understanding and mutually loving place to exist.

Think about it, and practice the statement above in the coming days, and see what positive experiences you have encountered and learned, and if you wish, report back with comments.

EzyEmp

Rules for Life #39 A problem shared, is a problem halved…


Do you have someone who you can turn to when you’re going through a challenge, a problem or even a crisis? Well I sure hope you do!

We humans despite how much we mess things up, we usually rise to assist someone in need, not all of us, but most of us will. Those who don’t, well it’s difficult to know why, but there can be all manner of things that deter them from holding out a helping hand.

I struggle to see someone going through a crisis and not give a supporting voice, a listening ear, a helping hand, or simply take the problem over and sort it out for them.

I love the underdog, those who need help, I am there…

But that’s me; and as they say the more you give the more you get back – not instantly, but overtime your kindness, empathy, compassion, understanding will be reciprocated in some way – plus the more you give, the better you feel about yourself.

GOOD KARMA has a way of finding its angels and rewarding them.

Here’s one of my mottos…

The difference between an outstretched palm and a helping hand is a twist of a wrist.

EzyEmp

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Rules for Life #38 Respect.


The ‘do unto others’ statement should be a moral code for all of us, but in my experience it is too often ignored and instead the Me Me Me and more Me mentality prevails in the social winds!

The respect is earned and not given… I like to give respect, whether or not it is returned does not matter to me, it is my moral code.

However I am the three strikes and out kind of guy, I am tolerant to the point where I can put up with insincerity for a while, but not for eternity. There is that topical ‘RED LINE’ that I mentally and emotionally have programmed within, and when triggered, sorry, no disrespect, but please take a hike!

Feeling respected is an empowering feeling, it makes you feel worthy doesn’t it?

The I AM SOMEBODY moment.

For those of us who lack self-esteem, or don’t feel worthy, a few kind words, and or just being gracious, can lift them out of the dark mood mire.

Respect therefore is incredibly powerful. 

Women, minorities, the disabled, the disenfranchised and those who are poorly educated or introverted, may have a deep need to be respected. Some, in specific circumstances and or environments, could have their negative emotions easily roused, if a look, or a word that is being negatively perceived, can ignite this emotion, and in turn can lead to anxiety, trigger shame, and shift their mood to one of anger or even violence.

Learn to be aware of this.

Look, there’s always something we can learn from our fellow human being, regardless of how we look, or where we have come from. So keep an open mind.

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Do not make the mistake that being respected means being valued, VALUE is a far deeper expression of affection socially than being respected. Respect is often viewed as an external social behaviour and or need, but being valued is an internal emotion; irreplaceable in fact.

The expression of I VALUE YOU, resonates much deeper in my view than the often insincere words of I LOVE YOU, in whatever language.

So respect is important as stated, it can make some of us feel like we are appreciated, it also plays to our ego for some of us – we all possess some elements of ego, it is what drives us to do this and that… like combing our hair, looking in the mirror, or buying that new car with the new high-tech gadget that no one else has, or some of us just trying to get that tan on vacation to make others appreciate us more – not that I need to do so of course.

Ultimately, respect is just good old-fashioned good manners, it is one of the many social qualities that binds people together, improves communication, and both champions equality and removes inequality across humanity.

We witness it among the animal kingdom don’t we, so let’s apply respect whenever and however we can.

EzyEmp.

 

 

 

Want it – say it. Need it – get it. Love it – show it.


We’re a strange species are we not? I am often confounded and astounded by the things we do.

So many of us are living a life of undesired discontent, not happy, no idea of how things will transpire in the short or mid-term.

Yet we still have the ultimate power of choice, do we not? 

It’s a paradox right? We have the power to choose and yet so many of us do not make the right choices. Why is that? Lack of knowledge or experience…  fear or perceived expectations perhaps?

Well I have a theoryI believe that many of us don’t choose for ourselves, we actually make choices based on what we think we should do, what the media tells us to do, what others are doing, what is hip and trendy, what emotions we are feeling at any one time... am I making sense?

When we are young, most choices are instinctive. Yet somewhere between those early years and adulthood, the internal lines of nature becomes blurred with the external lines of expectation and what drives the ego; and of course with ego, there’s a downside; unfulfillment.

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So how do we get what we want, achieve our needs, and find that rare form of unconditional love?

Some advice…

It all stems from what you want, what you need and what you love.

What do you want for you? What do you need for you? What do you want to love, and who do you want to love?

Quite honestly, we do make so many decisions in our lives complicated, needlessly I might add. Keep things simple.

All things in life requires effort and to some degree, necessary planning and a set of realizable aims.

So what are your aims?

Start with the end in mind, how do you plan to realize those aims; work backwards. What tools, resources and choices are needed to make your aims come into fruition – yes there’s a need for effort, application and a positive mental attitude, yet none of us could walk without falling down countless times as toddlers. So effort and motivation is inherent in our psyche and human nature.

Therefore effort and motivation must be and will be your twin partners in life, draw on them both; it’s a bottomless resource, ready and waiting to be unlocked and deployed; if we only choose to call on and apply them. Find it!

Life as we know isn’t easy, so much of what we do is impacted by external and internal factors that can affect our lives in ways that we have little or no control over, but we still do have the ultimate POWER OF CHOICE, and with it, a myriad of outcomes and consequences.

Choose wisely! 

EzyEmp.

 

 

The Power of Reliance


Have you ever agreed to do undertake an action with someone, and that someone has either proposed that action, or agrees to your proposal, and lo and behold that someone fails to show up? Yep, me too. Irksome right?

I spoke about Trust and Truth being positive (but fading) values, but Reliance too is vital for social cohesion, relationships of whatever kind; in business, within a family, in the halls of learning, team-work and so on.

Of course, reliance should be a natural and meaningful human behaviour, in particular when another depends on what one commits to doing, and as a result an expectation has been delivered; but words, as we know are just that, WORDS.

DEED is quite another thing, and this is often where the link in the communication/action chain breaks needlessly down.

We all know some people are serial ‘talk the talk’ but never ‘walk the walk’ merchants, we also know that some people will have a genuine excuse, but that genuine excuse should be conveyed before breaking that agreed commitment right? Good, I’m glad you agree with me.

What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander.

Not surprising, empathy is usually a missing quality; the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes just does not become apparent at any time, even when flagged, and when flagged, the defence emotion gets triggered – no one likes to have their behaviour questioned negatively.

Relationships and society depends pretty much on Reliance, and together with Truth and Trust, I have termed these values the Social Trinity; a rock solid platform for any meaningful communication, planning, team effort or goal/task achievement.

So if you are the proposer, think about this Reliance factor.

Remember a proposition by default becomes an expectation for the recipient, so switch roles mentally and try, yes try and think how you may feel.

If all else fails, remember…

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