Category Archives: Reflections On Life

Anything that provokes thought and debate regarding how we have lived and are living, while reflecting on our future

Recollection 


Here are some life events that I will never forget..

  • As a five year old playing Herod the King with a plastic floppy sword
  • How my mother’s tears will instantly make me weep when I was young
  • My father bringing home bottles of Makeson Stout and chocolate eggs every Friday after work
  • Being able to tread water in the deep end at a swimming pool
  • My first kiss on my crush’ lips in the school playground, no tounges
  • The first time aged 9 a school friend showed her vagina to me in a classroom
  • When I lost my virginity aged 15 with my sister’s friend at a family party – she seduced me!
  • The sensation of driving a car for the very first time
  • Having a street fight with one arm; someone tried to rob me, but all they got was an empty wallet and a busted nose for their troubles (if it happened today with sharp weapons being the tool of combat) I may not be here right now
  • Winning a national team dance competiton, we all fully lost it!!
  • Performing on stage in Milan with Renato Raschel (he of solo mio fame) aged 20
  • Discovering love in Italy with my dance partner Kerry Moore aged 20; we should be together today, but…
  • Leaving home, watching my parents sadness and buying a home aged 23
  • Having my first born aged 27, now Mrs Kyla Frye-Onilude
  • Joining a vocal quartet and traveling the world aged 31, who’s founder died in March last year RIP, and then traveling the world as a solo artist mid 30s
  • Travelling to Kenya with my 2nd daughter who’s nickname is Cocky, who I love dearly, an experience that I will happily take to my grave – 3 safaris in two weeks, the TV doesn’t capture the majesty of the animal kingdom whatsoever
  • Losing my grandson to cot death; no words can describe that tragic experience. RIP
  • Incorporating my first company late 30s, but with the wrong people
  • Earning a six figure salary as a member of the Board of Directors at a computer services enterprise
  • Flying to Manhattan a month before 9/11 and visited the Windows of the World restaurant at the top of the World Trade Centre. Timing and all that
  • Losing my old man in 2008 to leukaemia in just 4 days, my mentor!
  • My now 5 year old grandson, a talent  coming to your screens in the not too distant future; mark my words
  • Witnessing and being part of my daughter’s glorious wedding just last August, man she was incredibly beautiful on the day just as she was at her birth

One of my, if not the most cherished memory, was being able to translate a letter from Spanish into English for my mother, and watched the pride on her face as I did so.

Now, I have much to look forward to, living in the Mediterranean, watching my G’son grow up, and possibly others on the way too; and making the right choices and being with the right people in doing the right things, at the planned time.

Live n Love

My dog Louie, he was a character!

EzyEmp

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Christmas Dinner 


Well it was a toss up between fish or meat, I’ve decided upon the latter.

Now my joint favourite piece of meat is Rib-eye, but in a dead heat, comes the hombro de cordero, better known as shoulder of lamb.

When I lived in Spain, I went to a local village restaurant during a sultry evening, I asked for the menu, I took my time… so it was going to be a local delicacy or something I was more familiar with; that dear reader was lamb. 

And so I made my choice, the shoulder of lamb. It took a while to be served, which is usually a good sign, but when it arrived… right now my glands are salivating.

Ever since that sultry evening in Spain, the hombro de cordero is the meat of choice for a celebration.

I’m going to slow-cook it between 6-8 hours… I’ve seasoned the 2kg hombro de cordero, which was shipped to my home from the Yorkshire dales 4 days ago, and will stick it in my fan oven just as soon as I rise tomorrow, with a select choice of food accompaniments. 

Whatever you’re having for your Christmas dinner, I hope it will be a memorable experience.

Merry Christmas!! 🍽

EzyEmp 

#ChristmasDinner #ShoulderofLamb

Rules For life #43 One good turn deserves another…


One good deed begets another, seeds of kindness, sown in summer, blooms like Spring in mid December…  by the late and great Mr. Al Jarreau.

So here we are again, just 4 days from opening our prezzies!

You know, I fail to understand why so many of us go a little crazy at Christmas, we spend more than we earn, eat more than we should, drink liquids that we would not normally consider, spend time with people we rarely ever see or hear from or even like, but it is the most wonderful time of the year!

The missing jigsaw from the Christmas puzzle, is usually that man called Jesus Christ, who is or should be the main event of the evening.

As the title says, one good turn deserves another – so it is the coveted law of reciprocation. The do unto others as you would be done by mantra.

Now there will be those who will always take, and then there will be those that will always give, and then there are those in the middle that will give and take, usually without thinking.

So, as we approach the most wonderful time of the year, have in the back of your mind the following….

  1. Can you be as gregarious during the rest of the year as you are during the festive season?
  2. Are you prepared to hook up with someone you rarely see, as you are prepared to tolerate during the holiday season?
  3. Will you focus more on the reason for the celebration Mr. JC, or be unable to wait to get your hands on that prezzie without a moment of reflection?
  4. and finally, will you return the kindness shown to you at this time of the year during the remainder of 2018, or will you just forget such kindness once the occasion is over?

CHOOSE WISELY!

So I will take this opportunity to wish you and yours a rich, loving, peaceful and a very Merry Christmas!! 

EzyEmp 

#merrychristmas

There’s a dark shadow lurking…


I am not sure about you, but I feel we’re coming to a point, where many of us are wondering if we will have a future at all.

OK, don’t sound the alarm, I am an eternal optimist, but some of us are not.

Politically it’s crunch time – in the States, in the People’s Republic, in Europe, in Russia, in the Middle East and in North Korea; we can throw up the cards with each nation labelled on them, and see what happens when they land; but that of course means we are in the lap of the so called Gods. We can do something about it of course and not leave it to those in power to alter the course of our future.

Yes, our earth’s global future from which we are intrinsically hardwired to! That’s enough of the politics for now, but you get my drift and hopefully heed my call.

On to another matter, with the dark shadow lurking theme…

I will always judge people as I find them, I don’t care whether they’re women, men, black white, old, young, tall, short, fat or thin, I embrace all religions, my religion is pretty much agape love.

In my work, I help C-Suite professionals to make lasting progress in their careers.

When I consult, most are open, engaging and will show warm gratitude, while a handful will be so incredibly judgmental and stubborn; and when I am finished not a word of thanks is uttered, even though I have more knowledge and expertise than they do and have happily shoved them a little further along their career path.

So what makes the latter different from the former? It is difficult to define, but I sense and or know that some of these C-Suite professionals, don’t like or are unwilling to accept direction, perhaps due to their upbringing, perhaps recent experiences, perhaps just being covertly judgmental or have an inherent bad attitude. I sometimes wonder what goes on behind their closed doors at home.

Look, people are inclined to form irrational and emotional judgments, without getting the facts, and most as I have said before, will make emotional decisions, and you know what, emotional decisions are usually irrational, whether it is a word or an action, it will usually derive a negative outcome.

I have met tens of thousands of people across the decades from all over the world, and have always set out to leave a positive and memorable impression of who I am. Yet, there are those for whatever reason, fail to reciprocate my positive engaging energy; now that’s their dark shadow lurking deep in their higher being; we all have this damaging affliction.

The Pope recently remarked that the Lords Prayer should be altered, as the words ‘lead us not into temptation’ should be that of Satan. Well as we’ve all apparently been made in Gods own image, and as all of us have this dark shadow lurking, I feel that this ‘lead us not into temptation’, words are quite apt. Forgive me if I have caused offence.

We’re all fallible, or perhaps a better phrase is lightly damned – some more than others of course; and yet there are those of us who try to convey that we’re more perfect than others and make every attempt to hold other people down or make them feel inferior in some way. Anyone come to mind?!?!

Not nice at all.

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So let’s use the ultimate POWER OF CHOICE!

So as we approach the Yuletide festivities, let’s reach out to others, smile, share some positivism; we’re all going through a challenging and unclear period in our lives, not least the burgeoning upcoming generation of youngsters.

Most of all, if you know someone good, don’t ever make emotional decisions and run the risk of losing them. All good people are precious, remember that!!

If you celebrate Christ’s Mass, love to you and yours, and don’t get too drunk or eat too much… OK, I am no Ebenezer Scrooge… Live n Love!

EzyEmp

Brown grass…


By Gregory Porter.

It is easy in a world where most of us are never or rarely satisfied, to overlook what we have and just how far we have come.

It’s easy to overlook the 90%, focus on the 10%, give up and move on.

Not being satisfied if used for motivation, is a good thing, it offers one drive and the desire to reach that key goal, however if used for greed and gain underpinned with insecurity and how others may be thinking, well that’s another matter entirely.

If you’re instinct is telling you this doesn’t feel right, then act, instinct is your real self.

DO NOT and NEVER IGNORE!

If you are on the other hand comparing yourselves to material images, icons or what others may judge you by, well again, that’s another matter entirely.

The vast majority of us are in a better place than 2/3rd of the world’s population, only in our consumer driven, glossy image and money orientated world, this just is not enough right?

So many of us do not sleep well enough, because after putting your heavy head on your soft pillow, in just 5-6-7-8 hours, the next day is where you will walk on the glorious and inherited stage of life, and that’s where you are exposed to all manner of threats, comparisons and judgments, and in order to compete, we think short term, what do I need to look like today? What gadget should I have in my possession? Who should I associate myself with or to?

We will often cut our nose off to spite our face, very often for no justifiable reason or rational unemotional cause. Following which, as time continues to move on and on, and when we look back, the reflection is a disturbing FACE PALM, SHAKE MY HEAD moment; an action that we look back on with regret, but as you know I espouse that regrets are necessary, without regrets, we will never become wise.

So the grass you’re standing on is green, now of course there may well be greener grass some where, but it can take a series of regrets to find it, if you have the desire to experience regrets that’s great, even though I know that regrets are necessary, it really isn’t that pleasant is it?

So here’s Mr.G Porter to serenade us out into the weekend.

Live n Love

EzyEmp

The spoken word is key to everything!


As we bow our heads as we along the roads, avenues and paths, more and more of us choose to message, text, send an emoji, or email, rather than open our mouths.

It is what it is; of course, in our fast and speedy western world lifestyle, sending a quick heart to a loved one is enough to indicate that you truly care.

Now more than ever, our alphabet is gradually being broken down into acronyms, grammar that can be likened to hieroglyphics and images.

But the importance of sound communication won’t go away, it will be crucial at times of emergency, times when a kind word can change lives, times when the sound of a yearned for voice can raise one’s spirit, times when only the spoken word is appropriate.

Oratory is a powerful tool, it moves people to do things they never thought they could or would. Martin Luther King Jr, the YES WE CAN mantra, the sermon in a church, and so on.

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The words and vows spoken between two people getting married, the words shared at the point of a loved one’s passing, the word SORRY, that will undo tension in an instant, and the poetic words of love…

Taking communication to the work place, the reliance on computer terminals and digital screens automates so much, yet the people factor is now missing, and as we create more and more AI machines, watch out people, ALEXA is slowly becoming a loving family member.

Listening is a huge part of communication, we don’t listen to hear, we listen to respond. Active listening for those in HR, Coaching, Teaching or Learning and Development will know just how important it is to listen.

What about raising children in an adult’s presence? Kids listen to every word that is said, if you use profanity, they will too, if you use constructive words, they will too, if you speak multiple languages, they will too, the importance of diversity is vital for their future lives, we share our planet with 7BN people, not 7 people; the 5 in your home and the couple next door, the world is shared among us all, but not all of us have control over what we can do with our lives, without penalties.

But I digress; so communication is key to everything, be it prayer or a cry for help, a word of support during a catastrophe, a word to a lonely elderly person, a stranger in an elevator, someone at a bus stop, the bar person, an Illuminati, they’re no different from the rest of us… use what many of us were born with, a Brain, Thought, Tongue, and Speech, use your words wisely, try not to hurt, and don’t cause offence.

EzyEmp

Rules for Life #41 Let go of #inaction!


It is often the things that we don’t do that determines our path in life, it is true.

We all like to have nice things, the latest material items that may boost our prestige or kudos. Yet, most of us will happily settle for routine, doing tomorrow, what we did yesterday over and over again. Just how much do we want it!

All those people who we admire or despise in public life, did one of three things… 1) they were not ready to accept the status quo. 2) they had an internal drive to achieve or master something, and 3) opportunity knocked and they seized it with both hands and some.

Let’s look at all three areas in more detail.

PROCRASTINATION. You just have to look at the famous people who may post a quote, say on Twitter, and they get plenty of likes and retweets, and someone unknown makes an identical upload, and will be ignored. Same quote different response, clearly then it is not the quote that matters, it is who tweeted it. It is all about image, perception and stardust, and to be associated with a public figure for some is like a shot of ego juice in their vein, much like taking a selfie with a public figure. Well, that public figure is no different from those in their fan base, that public figure just wasn’t prepared to allow each day to roll into years until it is too late, nope, they wanted to make a name for themselves, and with it comes fame, and all that is associated with such a status, good, bad and indifferent.

A topical subject right now.  #Weinstein

MOTIVATION. Pretty much every action we take, requires a level of motivation. Now for most of us, getting up in the morning and going to our place of work, the by-product of doing this, is getting paid. For others, it’s about doing what they love doing (not work), for others it is about competing against Mr. or Miss somebody for the coveted prize, while for others not doing so, could be the difference between a roof over their heads, or sleeping rough. Whatever it is, MOTIVATION is always ever-present. But there’s motivation and then there’s MOTIVATION. I am motivated to stay healthy, without health I have very little… so my motivation to remain in great shape mentally and physically is a key driver for me. But I am also motivated to achieve new bench marks, and goals. Something I have always done. Think of your fav musician, they were once a beginner too!

What motivates you to do something extraordinary?

TAKING A RISK. Nothing in life alters without embracing change. CHANGE. We only have to look at the leaves of the tree at this stage of the season, to see the beauty of what change can display. Opportunities, and I mean serious opportunities may only happen 3 or 4 times in one’s life. The golden key to grasping such an opportunity is to listen to your silent voice, that inner voice in your upper chamber that is telling you to do or not to do over and over again, well not doing is to continue as-is. We’ve all been there. If I had listened to my silent voice on one or two occasions, I would be living in a completely different world right now. It isn’t easy to discern what is right when faced with a remarkable opportunity, it can be intimidating, or you allow others to talk you out of grasping that golden baton and running with it for the same reason.

So how will you know if it is the right decision if you never make it?

So let go of INACTION, see how your life can become filled with experiences you used to daydream about, or continue to silently imagine.

Time waits for no one, so take action and let go of inaction!

EzyEmp

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