The tendency to question yourself, seek to cast blame and point an accusing finger at others when things are not happening as you would like or expect, is not so unusual. I have one word for this in response… DON’T!
There is no Perfect, No Ideal, it is all in our heads!
When life is not working out as you would like, and things are not developing as you hoped, it is often for an imperceptible reason, but definitely for your distinct benefit.
It is a sign post, a symbol, a message that will keep revealing itself until you understand and accept its meaning.
Just acknowledge, concede and move on; never ever internalize.
IF IT DON’T FIT DON’T FORCE IT.