For many of us, one of the chief reasons for our unhappiness is our need to affect many of the things around us.
We are in truth often able to have an influence if not outright control on much of what we want, need or meet. However nearly all what I am referring to are non-living things. They are inanimate objects that we can move, destroy, alter in some way, some are designed for this purpose of course, to occupy ourselves as a some sort of pastime. In our technological world we can now control virtual characters that offers us some real emotional highs and lows.
This control thing has become as much a part of our lives as breathing and winking, we do so unconsciously much of the time.
The real challenge comes when we attempt to control one another! If you really think about it, there is some value in living a life of relative solitude; you will not be a target to be controlled and at the same time you will not be tempted to be the controller. Time to reflect a little… is someone in a position of leadership a controller? Is a parent required to control? Does allowing oneself to be controlled, promote bullying?
What if you are in a relationship… should the control be equal, or perhaps be determined by whomever is best equipped to make that key decision on behalf of the union? What if both parties have a controlling nature, what is the likely development here? Is your mind working a little now? I hope so, it is worth thinking about right?
We aren’t a machine that can be plugged in and out and that will act in a certain way in a certain circumstance; (though there are some of us that do behave similarly I grant you that!), no, we have moods, we are exposed to influences that we have no control whatsoever, we can be devious one minute and loving the next, we can be truthful today, and fake tomorrow (not me I might add).
Indeed, it may be these very same attributes that can be applied to manipulate and control others by those with a covert ‘integrity free zone’ agenda on the more trusting!
I have found that what people often want to have control over are things such as loyalty, fear, certain habits, anxiety, trust, commitment, depression, how we look, integrity and I must admit, wealth… but what if you can instantly have PEACE with a flick of a switch, COURAGE with a wave of an index finger CLARITY OF MIND by a gentle nod, and that all-encompassing CONTENTMENT just by smiling?
There is a way to achieving these exceptional life enhancing values, and though it is far from simple, I declare here and now that it is worth doing.
Firstly practice being in a conscious state of mind, when you feel you are attempting to control the uncontrollable, secondly deny yourself whatever it is you are seeking to have authority over… JUST LET GO, and over time and with dedication, you will find that serenity and everything that comes with it will be yours.