Where are your ‘friends’ when you need them? Oh yeah, they don’t need you right now!


If there’s one thing about me, I never look away when a friend is in need of help… and I mean never.

Yet these are the very same friends, that will look the other way when a friend comes in search for support, whatever the circumstances or whomever they are.

Life as we know isn’t always easy, though our lives is way much better than the vast majority of the inhabitants of our beautiful planet.

But there are times, when one hits rock bottom, not through one’s own fault, but through mitigating circumstances, yes we’ve all been there or at some point if you’ve not been there, be sure at some point you will experience it.

I have been there dozens of times and it only serves to make me stronger and more empathetic to others in need.

It is often necessary to hit rock bottom, it forces one to be a little more imaginative and motivated and cunning and tenacious etc. etc.

But without a solid network of friends and family, you can drift a little or a lot, it depends on how motivated you feel to address your current problem.

As I said early in this post, I can help anyone if I am in a position to do so, if I am not I will be the first to openly admit that I cannot, it is called integrity and being honest, which in turn nurtures trust and that much sought after attribute, respect!

However, human beings are a flawed species, over the centuries we choose what is good for us and us alone, not always, but more often than not, most of the time.

Even those close to us are flawed, we may love them, even like them, but at the end of the day they and we are flawed.

So where am I going with this message, just think about giving a little, giving will often return the favour, not immediately but at some point in this life or the next, you will be rewarded, or God forbid, you may eventually lose that cherished friend or family member.

Friends or Foe, be aware people!

EzyEmp    

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Self-Respect matters…


I see so many people being disrespected, and for some reason, they allow such behavior to continue.

Quite often, it is usually the person you are most close with that will disrespect you, be it family or friend or more often than not, your ‘loved’ one.

But why does this strange paradox exist?

If you don’t respect yourself, ain’t nobody gonna give a good cahoot!

Says The Staple Singers! 

If there’s one thing my late parents taught me, is to never allow anyone to disrespect me, and in order to do that, I have to respect myself first!

If you have read my blogs, you will know I will give people 3 chances and after that I will walk away, I will not tolerate repetitive rudeness. Once may be a mistake, twice is taking advantage, thrice is my red line, it STOPS right there!

If you get to the third stage of disrespect that person senses you don’t respect yourself and hence, that person has in effect become a manipulative bully and will abuse you whenever they wish. If you allow such behaviors to continue, you will have minimal control over the perpetrator, seriously zero to minimal!

So when you go to sleep tonight, think just how much do you respect yourself, really just how much???

Remember your instincts are triggered for a reason… listen! 

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#Self-Respect

 

 

Have you sacrificed at all?


It’s that most important time in the Christian faith, it is Good Friday, where someone decided through persecution and beatings and a friend who wasn’t a friend in any way, to submit and get nailed to a cross in the hope that his heavenly father would save us or more to the point, forgive us, for we know not what we do.

I had hoped that at the turn of this century that our species would be more enlightened, but over the last decade or more, we have seemingly gone hurtling backwards.

Rare animal species are being wiped out from our planet for, well amorous and gluttonous reasons, we have dictators every which way we look, we have to fact check everything, because there are ALTERNATIVE FACTS , our privacy is being criminally used to determine governments, mad people killing and abusing young people, even babies, and so it goes on…

We spend most of our time identifying what makes us different, instead of what are our similarities.

Our planet is heating up, we have record-breaking storms and temperatures at both ends of the thermometer

So what indeed did Jesus Christ die for? 

Most of us just want a good life, to have that someone special in our lives, to grow healthily old and watch our family replace us after we have gone to immortality, but along the way, and to achieve all that we must, just as Jesus did, sacrifice for the good of our family, the good of others, and for ourselves too.

Without a degree of sacrifice, very little can be gained.

Be it in the pursuit of a qualification, learning a language, or to play a musical instrument, or simply need to put food on the table or paying that bill… whatever it is, a sacrifice will be necessary.

Buona pasqua 

 

You want to, but can’t turn the clock back!


At times I wonder what if I had the opportunity to rewind the clock to key periods in my life, to allow me to make entirely different decisions; but like life itself, there’s no turning back, were on this endless road to immortality, we just don’t know when the road will end.

Life itself is like a game, some of us know how to play it like a BOSS, while others just let life slip them by… the key is to be adventurous, embrace change, take affirmative action, be prepared to take a risk in the hope it may pay off, and usually will if you have prepared enough in advance.

I just can’t help wondering if I had made some more decisive instinctive choices, I would be in a place, where I had intended, but I have made instinctive choices, so I must accept the consequences of my choice.

One thing I do know, I am always prepared to take a risk, and this quality is hardwired to my brain; it is WHO I AM!

Happy PALM Sunday dear reader! palm sunday images Google Search

Recollection 


Here are some life events that I will never forget..

  • As a five year old playing Herod the King with a plastic floppy sword
  • How my mother’s tears will instantly make me weep when I was young
  • My father bringing home bottles of Makeson Stout and chocolate eggs every Friday after work
  • Being able to tread water in the deep end at a swimming pool
  • My first kiss on my crush’ lips in the school playground, no tounges
  • The first time aged 9 a school friend showed her vagina to me in a classroom
  • When I lost my virginity aged 15 with my sister’s friend at a family party – she seduced me!
  • The sensation of driving a car for the very first time
  • Having a street fight with one arm; someone tried to rob me, but all they got was an empty wallet and a busted nose for their troubles (if it happened today with sharp weapons being the tool of combat) I may not be here right now
  • Winning a national team dance competiton, we all fully lost it!!
  • Performing on stage in Milan with Renato Raschel (he of solo mio fame) aged 20
  • Discovering love in Italy with my dance partner Kerry Moore aged 20; we should be together today, but…
  • Leaving home, watching my parents sadness and buying a home aged 23
  • Having my first born aged 27, now Mrs Kyla Frye-Onilude
  • Joining a vocal quartet and traveling the world aged 31, who’s founder died in March last year RIP, and then traveling the world as a solo artist mid 30s
  • Travelling to Kenya with my 2nd daughter who’s nickname is Cocky, who I love dearly, an experience that I will happily take to my grave – 3 safaris in two weeks, the TV doesn’t capture the majesty of the animal kingdom whatsoever
  • Losing my grandson to cot death; no words can describe that tragic experience. RIP
  • Incorporating my first company late 30s, but with the wrong people
  • Earning a six figure salary as a member of the Board of Directors at a computer services enterprise
  • Flying to Manhattan a month before 9/11 and visited the Windows of the World restaurant at the top of the World Trade Centre. Timing and all that
  • Losing my old man in 2008 to leukaemia in just 4 days, my mentor!
  • My now 5 year old grandson, a talent  coming to your screens in the not too distant future; mark my words
  • Witnessing and being part of my daughter’s glorious wedding just last August, man she was incredibly beautiful on the day just as she was at her birth

One of my, if not the most cherished memory, was being able to translate a letter from Spanish into English for my mother, and watched the pride on her face as I did so.

Now, I have much to look forward to, living in the Mediterranean, watching my G’son grow up, and possibly others on the way too; and making the right choices and being with the right people in doing the right things, at the planned time.

Live n Love

My dog Louie, he was a character!

EzyEmp

Rules for 2018 #1


So another year has passed and another is well on the way, I do hope this year for you will not mirror the one just passed!

Here are 15 lifestyle choices that I think are necessary for 2018…

  1. If someone shuts you out, let them; and don’t ever return for more of the same.
  2. If someone treats you kind, with love or with affection, treasure them.
  3. Make an effort to do something you have never done before; life is for LIVING!
  4. Don’t spend more than you earn, money for most is hard to come by.
  5. Be nice, even to those who are not nice to you.
  6. Read, Read, and Read a little more, and travel, travel and travel a little more.
  7. Expose yourself to different cultures, different people, anything different in fact.
  8. Learn a language, learn to bake, learn to swim, learn to code, just learn.
  9. Be humble, be truthful, be authentic, and stop being an echo chamber.
  10. Indulge yourself with music, music, music and your kind of live MUSIC!
  11. Drink lots of water, lots of it daily, avoid too much sugar and too much salt.
  12. Enjoy great sex and more sex and more sex, we all love mind-blowing sex!
  13. Be around people who make you feel good about life, who will allow you to be you.
  14. Try and sleep well, relax the muscles in your face right now, yes now!
  15. Try not to sit down too much, try to use the stairs rather than the elevator, try walking more, or cycle instead of taking the car to go 400 meters up the road.

In the 2nd rules for 2018 post (and there will only be two for 2018), my next 15 point plan, will focus on what I now do best,

CAREER ADVICE! 

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Happy 2018 to you and yours, do remember life is determined by that all-encompassing POWER OF CHOICE!

EzyEmp

Reflection : Change : Growth : Truth