Rules for Life #44

Regrets are the most POWERFUL force for CHANGE.

quotes on regret Google Search - Edited



Here are some life events that I will never forget..

  • As a five year old playing Herod the King with a plastic floppy sword
  • How my mother’s tears will instantly make me weep when I was young
  • My father bringing home bottles of Makeson Stout and chocolate eggs every Friday after work
  • Being able to tread water in the deep end at a swimming pool
  • My first kiss on my crush’ lips in the school playground, no tounges
  • The first time aged 9 a school friend showed her vagina to me in a classroom
  • When I lost my virginity aged 15 with my sister’s friend at a family party – she seduced me!
  • The sensation of driving a car for the very first time
  • Having a street fight with one arm; someone tried to rob me, but all they got was an empty wallet and a busted nose for their troubles (if it happened today with sharp weapons being the tool of combat) I may not be here right now
  • Winning a national team dance competiton, we all fully lost it!!
  • Performing on stage in Milan with Renato Raschel (he of solo mio fame) aged 20
  • Discovering love in Italy with my dance partner Kerry Moore aged 20; we should be together today, but…
  • Leaving home, watching my parents sadness and buying a home aged 23
  • Having my first born aged 27, now Mrs Kyla Frye-Onilude
  • Joining a vocal quartet and traveling the world aged 31, who’s founder died in March last year RIP, and then traveling the world as a solo artist mid 30s
  • Travelling to Kenya with my 2nd daughter who’s nickname is Cocky, who I love dearly, an experience that I will happily take to my grave – 3 safaris in two weeks, the TV doesn’t capture the majesty of the animal kingdom whatsoever
  • Losing my grandson to cot death; no words can describe that tragic experience. RIP
  • Incorporating my first company late 30s, but with the wrong people
  • Earning a six figure salary as a member of the Board of Directors at a computer services enterprise
  • Flying to Manhattan a month before 9/11 and visited the Windows of the World restaurant at the top of the World Trade Centre. Timing and all that
  • Losing my old man in 2008 to leukaemia in just 4 days, my mentor!
  • My now 5 year old grandson, a talent  coming to your screens in the not too distant future; mark my words
  • Witnessing and being part of my daughter’s glorious wedding just last August, man she was incredibly beautiful on the day just as she was at her birth

One of my, if not the most cherished memory, was being able to translate a letter from Spanish into English for my mother, and watched the pride on her face as I did so.

Now, I have much to look forward to, living in the Mediterranean, watching my G’son grow up, and possibly others on the way too; and making the right choices and being with the right people in doing the right things, at the planned time.

Live n Love

My dog Louie, he was a character!


Rules for 2018 #1

So another year has passed and another is well on the way, I do hope this year for you will not mirror the one just passed!

Here are 15 lifestyle choices that I think are necessary for 2018…

  1. If someone shuts you out, let them; and don’t ever return for more of the same.
  2. If someone treats you kind, with love or with affection, treasure them.
  3. Make an effort to do something you have never done before; life is for LIVING!
  4. Don’t spend more than you earn, money for most is hard to come by.
  5. Be nice, even to those who are not nice to you.
  6. Read, Read, and Read a little more, and travel, travel and travel a little more.
  7. Expose yourself to different cultures, different people, anything different in fact.
  8. Learn a language, learn to bake, learn to swim, learn to code, just learn.
  9. Be humble, be truthful, be authentic, and stop being an echo chamber.
  10. Indulge yourself with music, music, music and your kind of live MUSIC!
  11. Drink lots of water, lots of it daily, avoid too much sugar and too much salt.
  12. Enjoy great sex and more sex and more sex, we all love mind-blowing sex!
  13. Be around people who make you feel good about life, who will allow you to be you.
  14. Try and sleep well, relax the muscles in your face right now, yes now!
  15. Try not to sit down too much, try to use the stairs rather than the elevator, try walking more, or cycle instead of taking the car to go 400 meters up the road.

In the 2nd rules for 2018 post (and there will only be two for 2018), my next 15 point plan, will focus on what I now do best,



Happy 2018 to you and yours, do remember life is determined by that all-encompassing POWER OF CHOICE!


Christmas Dinner 

Well it was a toss up between fish or meat, I’ve decided upon the latter.

Now my joint favourite piece of meat is Rib-eye, but in a dead heat, comes the hombro de cordero, better known as shoulder of lamb.

When I lived in Spain, I went to a local village restaurant during a sultry evening, I asked for the menu, I took my time… so it was going to be a local delicacy or something I was more familiar with; that dear reader was lamb. 

And so I made my choice, the shoulder of lamb. It took a while to be served, which is usually a good sign, but when it arrived… right now my glands are salivating.

Ever since that sultry evening in Spain, the hombro de cordero is the meat of choice for a celebration.

I’m going to slow-cook it between 6-8 hours… I’ve seasoned the 2kg hombro de cordero, which was shipped to my home from the Yorkshire dales 4 days ago, and will stick it in my fan oven just as soon as I rise tomorrow, with a select choice of food accompaniments. 

Whatever you’re having for your Christmas dinner, I hope it will be a memorable experience.

Merry Christmas!! 🍽


#ChristmasDinner #ShoulderofLamb

Rules For life #43 One good turn deserves another…

One good deed begets another, seeds of kindness, sown in summer, blooms like Spring in mid December…  by the late and great Mr. Al Jarreau.

So here we are again, just 4 days from opening our prezzies!

You know, I fail to understand why so many of us go a little crazy at Christmas, we spend more than we earn, eat more than we should, drink liquids that we would not normally consider, spend time with people we rarely ever see or hear from or even like, but it is the most wonderful time of the year!

The missing jigsaw from the Christmas puzzle, is usually that man called Jesus Christ, who is or should be the main event of the evening.

As the title says, one good turn deserves another – so it is the coveted law of reciprocation. The do unto others as you would be done by mantra.

Now there will be those who will always take, and then there will be those that will always give, and then there are those in the middle that will give and take, usually without thinking.

So, as we approach the most wonderful time of the year, have in the back of your mind the following….

  1. Can you be as gregarious during the rest of the year as you are during the festive season?
  2. Are you prepared to hook up with someone you rarely see, as you are prepared to tolerate during the holiday season?
  3. Will you focus more on the reason for the celebration Mr. JC, or be unable to wait to get your hands on that prezzie without a moment of reflection?
  4. and finally, will you return the kindness shown to you at this time of the year during the remainder of 2018, or will you just forget such kindness once the occasion is over?


So I will take this opportunity to wish you and yours a rich, loving, peaceful and a very Merry Christmas!! 



There’s a dark shadow lurking…

I am not sure about you, but I feel we’re coming to a point, where many of us are wondering if we will have a future at all.

OK, don’t sound the alarm, I am an eternal optimist, but some of us are not.

Politically it’s crunch time – in the States, in the People’s Republic, in Europe, in Russia, in the Middle East and in North Korea; we can throw up the cards with each nation labelled on them, and see what happens when they land; but that of course means we are in the lap of the so called Gods. We can do something about it of course and not leave it to those in power to alter the course of our future.

Yes, our earth’s global future from which we are intrinsically hardwired to! That’s enough of the politics for now, but you get my drift and hopefully heed my call.

On to another matter, with the dark shadow lurking theme…

I will always judge people as I find them, I don’t care whether they’re women, men, black white, old, young, tall, short, fat or thin, I embrace all religions, my religion is pretty much agape love.

In my work, I help C-Suite professionals to make lasting progress in their careers.

When I consult, most are open, engaging and will show warm gratitude, while a handful will be so incredibly judgmental and stubborn; and when I am finished not a word of thanks is uttered, even though I have more knowledge and expertise than they do and have happily shoved them a little further along their career path.

So what makes the latter different from the former? It is difficult to define, but I sense and or know that some of these C-Suite professionals, don’t like or are unwilling to accept direction, perhaps due to their upbringing, perhaps recent experiences, perhaps just being covertly judgmental or have an inherent bad attitude. I sometimes wonder what goes on behind their closed doors at home.

Look, people are inclined to form irrational and emotional judgments, without getting the facts, and most as I have said before, will make emotional decisions, and you know what, emotional decisions are usually irrational, whether it is a word or an action, it will usually derive a negative outcome.

I have met tens of thousands of people across the decades from all over the world, and have always set out to leave a positive and memorable impression of who I am. Yet, there are those for whatever reason, fail to reciprocate my positive engaging energy; now that’s their dark shadow lurking deep in their higher being; we all have this damaging affliction.

The Pope recently remarked that the Lords Prayer should be altered, as the words ‘lead us not into temptation’ should be that of Satan. Well as we’ve all apparently been made in Gods own image, and as all of us have this dark shadow lurking, I feel that this ‘lead us not into temptation’, words are quite apt. Forgive me if I have caused offence.

We’re all fallible, or perhaps a better phrase is lightly damned – some more than others of course; and yet there are those of us who try to convey that we’re more perfect than others and make every attempt to hold other people down or make them feel inferior in some way. Anyone come to mind?!?!

Not nice at all.


So let’s use the ultimate POWER OF CHOICE!

So as we approach the Yuletide festivities, let’s reach out to others, smile, share some positivism; we’re all going through a challenging and unclear period in our lives, not least the burgeoning upcoming generation of youngsters.

Most of all, if you know someone good, don’t ever make emotional decisions and run the risk of losing them. All good people are precious, remember that!!

If you celebrate Christ’s Mass, love to you and yours, and don’t get too drunk or eat too much… OK, I am no Ebenezer Scrooge… Live n Love!


Reflection : Change : Growth : Truth