I am over the hill and on the way down… I remember when my parents were my age, I am the youngest of 5 children.
My parents did not offer me much in terms of material wealth, but they offered me undiluted love and loads of wisdom more often than not, and they also set me up to be independent, and shoot for the stars and hit the moon.
Neither were they perfect, as none of us are, but I always appreciated them, even if they did not give me money or buy new clothes, I always wore second-hand clothes growing up, possibly because my mum loved markets, even my school uniform was second-hand, and I wore rugby boots to play football, but I liked it. It made me realise that when I could afford stuff, I treasured it.
My parents hailed from the tiny island of Montserrat in the Leeward Islands of the Eastern Caribbean. My mother according to my eldest sister was always singing (she was known as Queen) , and my dad went to Barbados to cut cane and pick cotton to put food on the table for my two eldest sisters, one of which is alive the other passed away on vacation in Boston.
I have a brother who lives in St Thomas, USVI and two sisters who both live in London, England. I was always thinking ahead when I was growing up, never liked to remain in one place for too long, I put that down to my parents having to move from pillar to post when I was growing up, I went to three schools in 4 years during my formative years, and my parents, my sister and I slept and lived in one room for a year and half.
Still it meant I could adapt to my surroundings better than most, and I still have not stopped moving around, and probably never will. I don’t classify my place of birth as where I am from, I treat my planet as where I am from.
If you’ve read my blogs you will know I have travelled far and wide… but I love my immediate environment to be peaceful and tidy, with lots of music in the background. Don’t like angst and stuff, don’t like discord, don’t like rudeness, and don’t like disrespect from anyone be it family or not.
I recall my dad attacking my sister when she was aged 18 when she had a baby in her arms, I was listening to the thumping from my bedroom, and he took my niece from my sister, my sister emerged from her bedroom with blood running from her nose… I didn’t like that, so I went into my parents bedroom along with my sister, and asked my dad politely to return my niece to my sister, and so he did. My sister always remarked on that, I was just fifteen but I don’t like injustice from anyone, including my parents.
As I said before I never ever disrespected them, even then, never spoke in bad terms to them, nor spoke ill words to others about them while they were alive.
I lost my mother in 1995 through a stroke, I lost my father in 2008 as a result of leukemia and throughout their lives I dedicated my time to them.
I used to get in a car and drive 60 miles to visit a pharmacy to buy my old man some pills, and then I would return 60 miles. I used to cut my old man’s hair every fortnight, and I also used to massage my mother’s shoulders… man how I miss them. I recall taking my mother for the first time to the cinema, to watch The 10 Commandments, with Charlton Heston, I bought her a tub of icecream to watch a three hour movie.
I recall my mother telling me, you don’t know what your dad is like, she never disclosed to me what he did, but I do recall that when she was on her death-bed, she pulled her arm away from him, I was shocked by what I saw.
Some secrets will never be disclosed right?
Still I know that they are both with me, both of them remain in my heart today and forever, I am so pleased to have never ever disrespected them during their lives, sometimes I wanted to, but unlike my sister, I never did.
Well just a snippet for you readers to know what shaped my life’s philosophy, I am fiercely independent; If I can’t have harmony in my life I would rather be alone, I don’t like to be shouted at, don’t like to have my integrity questioned, don’t like to have my trust questioned and don’t like noise or irrational behaviour.
Here’s a Friday thought…
Never ever make a short-term emotional decision that can undeniably affect your long-term future, and please please if you make a mistake, show some contrition.
I always try to think ahead, but sometimes things can take you off track in an instant, stuff you have zero control over, and then I have to think long and hard as to what my next move will be, I like being in this state of flux, it brings the best out of me!
…. and that’s where I am now!